Many years ago I found myself in the dark recesses of a New York City club. The music was pounding so hard that my solar lexis was moments away from shattering. With three Jack and Cokes (yes, I was juvenile and green as Fern Gully at the time) swishing around in my stomach, I was overcome with a bravery shared by valiant soldiers going off into battle. My outfit was my suit of armor and I felt indestructible.
My friend was just two feet away from me and I screamed into the darkness, hoping that she would hear my voice in between the rhythmic and hypnotizing house beats. The motivation for this screaming match against the DJ, was that off in the distance I spotted the perfect guy for Samantha.
When we initially passed by the velvet rope into the club, we agreed that we would conduct a little experiment tonight. I would scour every corner of the venue in search of the perfect man for her. She had just gotten out of a four year relationship and was devastated. This was her first night out in ages and she resembled a timid housecat who breached the doorway in search of true daylight for the very first time. In return, she would do the same. At this stage of my life, my adolescent mind was in search of one thing, and one thing only; sex of the most impure kind. That depraved and dirty type that leaves you sweaty and breathless as you’re spent; sprawled out on a bed in some unfamiliar location marveling at a ceiling you’ve never seen before.
Luckily Samantha had an uncanny ability to read my lips and was able to decipher what a simple passerby would have interpreted as a Sri Lankan dialect. “He’s right over there! Let me introduce you”, I belted at the top of my voice.
Moments prior I had befriend a guy who invited me over to his table. We made small talk, mostly about my beloved Giants and the most effective way to perform a bicep curl (you know, normal guy talk). He was an up and coming Goldman Sachs executive, but exuded the charm and naivety you’d find in a child who was smitten by the idea of Santa Clause descending down the chimney. After the interrogation, I felt his genuine and unobtrusive nature was a perfect fit for my friend.
They ended up dancing the night away and true to her word she found me a lovely little sex kitten who literally purred my ear until the sun came up.
Fast forward 67 days later and Samantha was right back where she was before; single, despondent and emotionally exhausted. The guy had turned out to be a total and complete bore. As their relationship developed she began to notice peculiar ticks. Though he was handsome and appeared to be desirable, he was mangled inside due to an abusive father and codependent mother. It was doomed from the start.
So why am I telling you this?
The reason for sharing this story is to shed some light on those that attempt to find romance in a night club. In my professional opinion (seeing as how this is what I do for a living), I advise my clients to steer clear of attempting to meet women in these settings (at least initially if they’re untrained or devoid of the necessary social skills).
Allow me to give you 3 reasons why:
REASON # 1 – The Mirage
Chris Rock said it best, “when you’re in a night club you never actually meet anyone, you meet their representative."
Meaning, many people are so self-conscious of what others are thinking that it consumes them. They morph into a character in order to assimilate with their surroundings. They project a person that really doesn’t exist or rather only offers a peripheral view of their character.
Now don’t get me wrong, I frequent nightclubs and find great value in cutting loose and raging with the best of them. I’ve met some incredible women in these types of settings (many of whom I have a very close relationship with to this day), but it’s very rare when I go out with that being my motivation.
REASON # 2 – The Talking Head
Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone as an F-14 Tomcat’s engine roars in the background. Throw in there a light show that would throw even the most stable person into an epileptic fit. Then include the chaotic atmosphere of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade for good measure. Now I want you to try to form a deep emotional connection with that person while you both consume watered down drinks and the occasional party favor. Need I say more?
REASON # 3 – Tug of War
Women – The reality is that most men who are out at night are looking for a quick lay.
The type that results in you facing the bathroom mirror while he grunts and pants behind you while pulling your hair back and jerking your face toward the heavens. Now I’m not saying anything is inherently wrong with that. I love an impromptu bathroom romp from time to time, but I’m confident that most woman wouldn’t ‘t constitute that as film worthy whirlwind sex of the emotionally bonding type.
Men - A woman is approached so much in one night (even if she’s not that attractive) that the odds are stacked against you. That is unless you truly understand how a woman thinks and can break the monotony of that tired ass approach most men use. You see, woman HAVE TO have their guard up, because of the doucebags who stalk them like a lion does a gazelle. Now of course, they find great humor in it all. One of my favorite pastimes is to hear my female friends explain the dumb shit guys said to them thinking they were suave, and of course were inevitably met with rejection.
Well, what’s the alternative?
So now that I may have crushed your dreams of finding Mr. or Ms. Right in the world of nightlife, let tell you where I take my clients or better yet, let me list the places where I’ve met woman who were open, carefree and devoid of any outside distractions.
Here’s a great list from my friends over at Askmen.com
There’s nothing more beautiful than approaching a woman in a genuine and heartfelt way, when she isn’t expecting it. No lines, no swagger needed. Those things are absent from your demeanor because you’re being sincere. Woman crave those “movie moments”. Those scenes she fantasized about since she was a child. A man sweeping her off her feet in the last place she’d expect.
I polled my database a few weeks back in an effort to find out where people met their current spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend. Less than 10% said in a nightclub. Let that simmer and soak for a few moments.
Many times when I’m out with friends at a nightclub who know about my Seduction business, they’ll want me to perform like a trained elephant at Barnum and Bailey Circus. I may appease them and introduce them to some women I just approached, but the truth is at that point I’m not looking to meet anyone special. I’m just trying to enjoy the company around me and not hear myself think. The music and atmosphere drive me. My time is spent absent of any deep thoughts or worries. A smile is pressed upon my face as my body sways in tune to the beat and I’m living just for this moment. Something funny happens while I’m basking in this certain joie de vivre…it eventually leads to meeting someone…unexpectedly of course.
Stay motivated,Robert Dawson
