After accepting a broken heart. The next stage is to accept that you will need help to get over it. There are various ways in which friends and family can help you but you must also help yourself.
Finding support and caring – for you!
Once you realise that indeed your heart had been broken, the next stage is to accept that you will need help in getting over it, and that also, you must take care of yourself too.
Caring for yourself is a vitally important part of your overall recovery so from today, try to start looking after yourself with kindness and love.
You will need to nurture both your body and mind as both are equally important in bringing about positive change in your life.
With all the emotional turmoil going on in your life at present, it’s unlikely that you feel very proud of yourself or feel that you are a very preserving person.
Caring for your body and mind will help you regain good and positive feelings about yourself by re-enforcing a very important message – that you are a unique, worthwhile and wonderful person.
The fault is that no matter how your heartbreak has come about, you’re a victim of shock – and therefore you must treat yourself accordingly.
And this can happen just as easily to men as well as women.
The best way to handle this is to try to imagine how you would want to look after someone else – someone who is very special to you – after they had had a major trauma in their lives.
Wouldn’t you want to help them get lots of rest, feed them healthy and delicious food and provide them with books and DVDs to help cheer them up?
You might also spoil them a little with thoughtful gifts that would help the nurturing process, such as a body lotion, or a herb pillow or maybe a lovely soothing massage?
Whatever it is that you would do for someone else in this situation, is exactly what you need to be doing for yourself right now!
Do things for yourself that help you feel better, like walking by the sea, having long scented baths by candlelight etc. Try to get out into the fresh air at least once a day so that you feel fresher and raise your spirits.
Allow time every day to pamper yourself… Even the most macho of guys can soak in a fragrant bath whilst listening to your favourite music.
Caring acts like these will help remind you that you are special, even if your heart is telling you that nothing matters anymore.
Sleep is another very important factor in your recovery and whilst some people sleep a lot when they are distressed, othes find sleep at such times, very elusive.
If you are wakeful in the night, don’t toss and turn. Instead, get up and make yourself a warm milky drink, read a book, or watch a DVD, something that will cheer you up in some way.
Do try to avoid using alcohol as a sedative as it produces somewhat unnatural and fitful sleep, and increasing your dependence on booze at this diificult time, is not going to be helpful.
If your sleeping patterns do not improve, you could try some of the common herbal remedies that promote good sleep, or if things still do not improve, you may need to seek medical help, particularly in the short to medium term.
So, in the early days of your heartbreak, the most important things you can do are;
Allowing other people to support you.
Keeping your heartbreak private will not help you in the long run, so, no matter how difficult it is for you, do find someone to confide in.
Let other people help you, whether that be family, work colleagues or close friends. The more you talk in the early days, the quicker you will recover.
Usually, part of the recovery process with our friends will involve learning about their past romantic history. Its not a bad thing to discover for yourself, that whatever you’re currently going through, others have been through similar situations, and maybe even worse.
Share these experiences but make sure that, most of all, you talk about you. As you start to open up and share your pain, it immediately ceases to have such a powerful hold on you and then you’ll be well on the path to recovery.
Become aware of your own goodness and worth as a person, and be as it can be at times of great personal distress, be aware of other peoples difficulties and try to contribute positively, even if it’s just a kind word or a smile. When you do this, you’ll feel better about yourself and will be getting back in touch with your own goodness, another important step on your road to recovery.
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