Newly Divorced? Know When is the Right Time to Start Dating Again

Feb 15
11:08

2016

Sarah Scott

Sarah Scott

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Being divorced doesn’t put an end to your dating days. You can take your time, relax, get over your past, and start dating again in your own time. All you need to do is follow the suggestions for dating post-divorce.

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Nothing can be more stressful than going through a divorce,Newly Divorced? Know When is the Right Time to Start Dating Again Articles or getting over a long-term relationship. If you are divorced or have ended a long term relationship, friends and close relatives may encourage you to start a new life and find your Mr. Right soon. But how will you know when it’s the right time to start dating again?

Often, this question haunts people who have recently divorced and want to emerge from their unsuccessful relationship. However, the answer to this question varies from person to person. While a broken relationship is hurtful, some people still manage to get out of the mental trauma in two to three months. For others, it might take years after their divorce. And, how can anyone date a person who is still living in their old relationship, emotionally? So, it is very important that you realize when you’re actually prepared to start dating because you wouldn’t want to give an unpleasant experience to your date, if you’re not sorted yet.

Dating after divorce is not the same as dating when you were young, attractive, and carefree. You’re now be a lot wiser about the opposite sex, your free time may be restricted if you have kids, and the dating scene in public might not engage you as it did when you were younger.

You might have to think about the dynamics of dating someone during these uncomfortable moments. But whether you’re apprehensive about entering the dating scene again or you look on it as an adventure, as you read these tips on dating for divorced people you’ll be clearer about how to ease your transition into this new life.

As a quick checklist, you should be well-prepared and ready to date if:

  • You’re able to let go of the past or at least forget it for a few hours while on a date.
  • You are able to strike up a conversation and continue talking without filing complaints, making comparisons or telling stories about your ex at every point of the conversation.
  • You are able to get to know the person sitting across the table without getting distracted or being disinterested at any point in time.

At times people are desperate to jump into a relationship in order to fill the emptiness. But that does not give them enough time to rid themselves of their negativity and build a positive perspective on what they desire. It’s important to make time for reflection, to get your feelings back to normal.

You don’t have to hurry up just in order to fill the void you’re currently feeling. The emptiness you’re feeling right now should be filled with happiness. Only when this is fulfilled, someone will be happy and lucky to date you.

As a divorced dating tip, you could start with a friendly date or attend an event just to socialize with people. You could have a few laughs, enjoy, and be content with that. But if you go with a mindset of finding a date right away you might be disappointed and it could ruin the chances of making a new friend. Not every person you meet will be the right fit for a date, but though you might not feel the same spark as when you were young, you could still find a great friend. Every date will prepare you for the next one and it there could be an opportunity to harvest something good out of it, even if the date itself doesn’t seem to be a great success. You can at least enjoy the moment, whether it’s romantic, or an onset of a new friendship, or just a nice evening out.

You should take your time to get your strength back and learn who you are after the divorce. Once you’ve achieved that, anyone would like to date this new you. You might find many divorced singles dating around, but the key to your joint enjoyment is not masquerading as the "Divorce Whisperer" on your first date. You can’t expect your date to be Mother Teresa or the Pope either. There is a difference between sharing a fact relevant to the conversation and complaining and whining over what has happened to you. Every date opportunity that comes across your way should be considered as an adventure and you must not treat it as an ex-bashing party, which might damage all your chances of retaining that date.

Therefore, it all depends on your mental state to determine whether you’re ready for a date or not. If you feel you still need more time, don’t get into it. Don’t exhaust all the time you have that you’d rather use to get over your past and really become comfortable in yourself. Also, in case it's been a long time since you were last single, you may be wondering where to find potential dates, what outfit to wear on your first post-divorce date, or how to manage when you have children. Your best bet is to look online for some dating websites specifically designed for divorced single dating or read some tips on dating for divorced people.

 

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