It almost seems as if there's a stage of petty bickering and arguing that all relationships must go through. Even if the relationship seems to be goin...
It almost seems as if there's a stage of petty bickering and arguing that all relationships must go through. Even if the relationship seems to be going really great,
there'll some a point where you find yourselves bickering. You'll find that sometimes tempers flare for no real reason, and arguments start for the most ridiculous reasons!
Sometimes you feel just as bad whether you "won" or lost! Before the bickering takes over and destroys the relationship, you've got to do something!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 -- Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
You can't fight about every perceived wrong. Is getting your way every time so critical? Because it's probably not going to happen. If you know she's got a problem with punctuality, for example, does it make sense to start bickering with her every time she shows up late? If you want to spend a few hours bickering about how she was a few minutes late, then go for it. If that's not your idea of a pleasant evening, though, just drop it.
That's not to say that nothing's worth arguing about. My advice to let the small things slide doesn't mean I'm advocating infidelity. When such major issues come up, you have to address them right away. When something like that happens, you've got to sit down with her and address the problem directly. But if she drank the last of the milk last night and there's none for this morning's coffee, so what? Have a cup of black coffee and leave it be!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 -- Let Her Know Your Feelings
It's something about men - we've got a bad habit of keeping problems to ourselves. Issues just sit and fester until suddenly there's a major problem. This is a really destructive approach to problem-solving For instance, if you find yourself picking up the tab all the time and it bothers you, let her know that it feels wrong to you.
You've got to be adult about it, though - don't simply accuse her of being cheap. You can't think that when people annoy you, they're doing it on purpose. For example, it's the custom in many places that the man pays. If, when you talk with her, you find out that this is how she was raised, you'll know that she wasn't trying to make you feel bad, but good! And you can figure out a way she can contribute without making you feel bad!
You'll find that you avoid a lot of arguments with your girlfriend if you simply sit down and have straightforward discussions with her.
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 -- Take a Step Back and Take it all In!
The things we fight about are frequently immaterial - it's the fighting itself and the general subject matter that might form patterns that are instructive. Try this: analyze how the arguments start and see if there's a connection.
When couple bicker, it's frequently about a narrow range of issues. If that's the case with you, you should discuss those issues together calmly. If there's something about her behavior that's bugging you, don't tell her there's something wrong with her - tell her how you feel when she does it. Don't be ashamed to share your feelings, because when the two of you do so, you'll learn more about each other. Sharing your feelings generally leads to real solutions to problems, from compromise to entirely new ways of doing things.
Frankly, this is what relationships are all about - sharing how you feel with her. What good is it to prove that you're "right" all the time, if all that means is that you keep on arguing? This is real life, and a real adult relationship you're in. Make the effort to share your feelings with her honestly and you'll be surprised how quickly the two of you stop the silly bickering and start really enjoying each other's company!
