Setting Your Dating Standards

Why Set Dating Standards?

• Clarity and Direction: Knowing what you want helps you avoid wasting time on incompatible matches.
• Self-Respect: High standards reflect self-worth and ensure you don't settle for less.
• Mutual Growth: Standards encourage both partners to grow and align with each other's goals.

The Basketball Coach Analogy

Imagine a high school basketball coach who holds tryouts without specifying any requirements. Players show up with varying skills and attire, leading to a team with no cohesion or talent. This scenario mirrors dating without standards—chaotic and unfulfilling.

Steps to Setting Your Dating Standards

1. Identify Your Desires:

   • What qualities do you value in a partner?
   • What are your deal-breakers?
   • How do these align with your life goals?

2. Set High Standards:

   • Don't compromise on what truly matters to you.
   • Remember, compromise is for later stages, not the initial selection.

3. Communicate Clearly:

   • Be upfront about your expectations.
   • If marriage is your goal, express it early on.

4. Be Patient:

   • You might meet many who don't meet your standards.
   • Persistence pays off when you find someone who does.

Perspectives on Dating Standards

Perspective 1: The Importance of High Standards

• Self-Improvement: High standards push you to be the best version of yourself.
• Quality Over Quantity: Fewer dates, but with more meaningful connections.

Perspective 2: Flexibility in Standards

• Room for Growth: People can grow into your standards over time.
• Avoiding Rigidity: Being too rigid can lead to missed opportunities.

Interesting Stats

• Online Dating: 30% of U.S. adults have used a dating app, with 12% finding long-term relationships through them. Pew Research
• Relationship Satisfaction: Couples who share similar values and goals report higher satisfaction. APA

Conclusion

Setting dating standards is crucial for finding a compatible partner. It requires self-awareness, clear communication, and patience. Whether you choose to maintain high standards or allow for some flexibility, the key is to remain true to yourself and your goals.

For more insights on building healthy relationships, check out Psychology Today and The Gottman Institute.