Once you realize you're wrong, and you know you owe it, how do you go about apologizing to your boyfriend? Admitting when they're wrong and expressing...
Once you realize you're wrong,
and you know you owe it, how do you go about apologizing to your boyfriend? Admitting when they're wrong and expressing sorrow for it are ways adults take responsibility for their actions, but it's still terribly difficult for many. "Forgive and forget" is advice more easily given than followed. Here are some ways you can help your boyfriend get over his hurt and resentment:
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 1
Timing is very important. Trying to offer an apology while he's upset, for example, or while he's deeply involved in some other issue, may cause more problems. Either wait until he's able to pay attention to you calmly, or arrange such a situation - invite him to dinner, for example, or a nice walk. The timing of your apology is critical.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 2
Your apology must be sincere, and you must show remorse. Two things to keep in mind - be absolutely sincere and look him directly in the eye. If you are not absolutely sincere in your apology, he will be able to tell from your eyes.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 3
When you apologize, keep it short and sweet, and don't try to analyze and explain every little detail. Nothing beyond "I'm sorry" and a brief explanation of what you did wrong is necessary. Long explanations sound like excuses and justification of your behavior, and will persuade your boyfriend that you're being insincere.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 4
You know what he likes - give him a gift or do something for him that you know he'll really appreciate. Think about the kind of thing he'd really appreciate. Not big-ticket items, because the point isn't to buy his affection, but to express yours. Make him a home-made card, for example, or take him to a special event. Alternatively, you could prepare a special meal for him, or take him to his favorite restaurant for dinner.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 5
When apologizing, be ready for a negative reaction. Many apologies elicit a negative response. Even though he may have told you he accepted your apology, your boyfriend might still be upset with you. Therefore, don't be surprised by any negative response he makes. Just because his response is negative when you apologize doesn't mean he'll stay that way. Most wounds, they say, heal with time, and the more he's aware of your sincerity, the sooner that time will come.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 6
Actions have consequences. You must accept the consequences of the mistake you made. You can't avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes just by apologizing for them. Did you break something of his, or damage it, and costly repairs have to be done? Go ahead and take care of it joyfully. It's one of the ways you can demonstrate your sincerity, especially if it causes a bit of financial stress.Keep in mind that just because you apologized to your boyfriend, it doesn't mean he will forgive you, just be prepared for whatever may happen (even if you already made amends).
An apology, of course, doesn't automatically generate forgiveness. Even if you've taken some action to demonstrate the depth of your feeling, your boyfriend may still not forgive you, so you need to be prepared for anything.
Few things are as difficult as apologizing to a boyfriend. A good apology must come from inside you and reflect your heart. Your apology must include an admission of fault or guilt, and that's never comfortable. There's nothing to be gained by re-opening old wounds - once you've made your apology, consider the episode closed and move on! Although there may be some pain now, in the long run your relationship will be strengthened by the way the two of you overcome such tough patches.
