A closer look at why we find it so difficult to find love over 60, and what I did about it.
First, let me preface this by saying that finding love is never easy. Or, at least, it never has been for me. Love’s one of those things that comes only when you least expect it; it might come when you least want it, or maybe when you’re already in a relationship. For some of us, it never comes. Whoever we are, we can all agree that it’s never easy.
Unfortunately, as us over 60s know, the older you get – the harder it gets. But why?
There are a lot of reasons why that’s the case, but the primary answer lies in the pervading culture of our times. Everything from magazines to films spreads the wisdom that only the young are looking for love. We’re told by the media that past a certain point, everyone is either in a relationship, a widower or ‘weird’. It’s a message that’s splayed across our screens often, and only goes to push the myth that we’re looking for love.
Of course, we know who we are and what we need, but the societal pressure not to go on dates beyond 60 is immense. Nobody wants to think of us as sexual, sensual people, and so they look down on us for trying to live our lives like we want to.
Another major thing standing in our way is simply the lack of availability. In our twenties, lots of us aren’t married and very few of us have the kind of major commitments that make dating impractical. When we get into our middle age and beyond, however, there’s just fewer people available on the market. Couple that with our generally less active social lives and it becomes incredible difficult to meet people who are of a similar age and likeminded.
Put simply, I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve been in a few long term relationships, but I was back on the market over the age of 60 and feeling like I’d never meet anyone again. It was only when I found out about online dating that my hopes started to rise again.
I found that with online dating, all of the stigma surrounding those of us of a certain age simply disappeared. I was in a place with countless others of a similar age and mind-set and there was nobody else there to question why somebody so ‘old’ would want love. Also on the over 60 dating website, I found that there were people on there I simply wouldn’t have met through my social circles. It completely changed the way I met new people, and not just partners. I’ve made some fantastic friends through online dating, and wouldn’t take back my experiences for anything.
I’ve now managed to find somebody to love, and though it didn’t come easy, taking love into my own hands with online dating meant it could happen.
