You Can Be Friends With Your Ex - Believe It Or Not!

What's the possibility of being friends with an ex after you break up with her? When breakups are amicable, one or both of you asks "Can't we still be friends?" Although it's not universally so, for many couples the answer is yes. If you ever want to get back together with your ex, being friends with her will facilitate that process, but that can't be the reason for your friendship. How does one go about establishing a friendship with an ex? These five tips will help.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip #1: Regardless of the cause of the breakup, you must forgive each other and get on with your lives. How can you be friends with someone if you're nursing a grudge against her? "Moving on" means just that - leaving the past in the past and concentrating on today - and tomorrow. Leave behind the issues and problems of the past and concentrate on the future. What good can come of bringing up the past?

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#2: There's no more romance - that's a fact. You've got to accept it. The days of her being your girlfriend are over, they're in the past. Let go of the relationship - it/s over. Accept the fact that all you're going to have with her now is friendship. Reconciliation is the real goal most men have when they agree to be "just friends" with their ex. You have to drop any pretense of a romantic relationship is you're going to make a friendly relationship work, and by all means, don't get jealous when you see her with another man! Think of it - what would you want her to do if she saw you with another woman?

Being Friends With an Ex Tip# 3: Have patience! Healing takes time! This point is critical - don't forget it. If your ex doesn't want to be friends, that's her right and you cannot ignore it. Don't forget, she's also hurting. Perhaps she'll change her mind once some time's gone by and she'd had a chance to recover some. Considering the pain you're both enduring, a friendship with your ex immediately after a breakup is pretty far-fetched anyway. Remember this: if you're still hurting, you shouldn't try to start up a friendship with her.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#4: Calling and texting her frequently will send the wrong message. Constant calling and texting are activities for the romantically involved, not "just friends." It would send the signal that you're looking for a relationship of more than "just friends." If you insist on trying to contact her all the time, count on her feeling smothered and pulling away from you. So don't overdo it. Call her every now and then, and text her, but overall, keep your distance.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#5: Finally, to make her your friend, treat her like a friend of yours. Gifts and cards and special treats are for girlfriends. Not "just friends." Treat her the same way you treat other female friends. Make sure that you don't give her any sort of special treatment or act like she's any different from one of your other friends or you run the risk of creating an awkward and uncomfortable situation.

Remember this important point - if you try to become friends just to keep alive the hope of re-establishing your romance, you'll never get over her. It'll be great if you can build a strong friendship. Those qualities that prompted you to try to get to know her better are still there. You should recognize if you cannot make a friendship with her, and move on with your life even if she's not a part of it. You know that you're capable of living without her in your life.