Indian weddings are a vibrant, soulful, and elaborate affair, steeped in age-old customs that are believed to bind the couple for seven lifetimes. While many of these traditions are beautiful and meaningful, some are outdated and even sexist. Shouldn't we reconsider some of these practices in today's context? Here, we explore seven key traditions in Indian marriages, examining their origins and relevance in modern times.
Indian weddings are a blend of vibrant customs and deep-rooted traditions, some of which are beautiful and meaningful, while others are outdated and sexist. This article delves into seven key traditions in Indian marriages, exploring their origins and questioning their relevance in today's world. From the practice of Kanyadaan to the ritual of washing the groom's feet, we examine how these customs reflect gender biases and consider whether it's time to leave some of them behind.
Kanyadaan is a pivotal ritual in Hindu weddings, where the bride's father gives her away to the groom. The term "Kanyadaan" is derived from two Sanskrit words: "Kanya" (maiden) and "Daan" (gift). Historically, this practice was believed to absolve the parents of their sins, as giving away a virgin daughter was considered one of the highest forms of charity.
While Kanyadaan may have made sense in ancient times, treating women as property is not acceptable today. The ritual implies that the bride is a burden being transferred from her father to her husband. Moreover, it is usually only the father who performs this ritual, sidelining the mother entirely. This tradition is a stark reminder of the patriarchal roots that still influence many aspects of Indian society.
Kashiyatra is a fun yet significant ritual in Tamil weddings. The groom pretends to renounce worldly pleasures and embark on a pilgrimage to Kashi (Varanasi) for spiritual studies. He is stopped by the bride's father, who convinces him of the virtues of married life and promises his daughter's hand in marriage.
While this ritual is entertaining, it raises questions about gender equality. Why is only the groom allowed to "renounce" worldly pleasures? Why can't the bride have similar aspirations? In today's world, both men and women have the right to pursue their dreams and ambitions, making this tradition seem outdated.
In various Indian cultures, the bride's parents or the bride herself wash the groom's feet as a mark of respect. This practice dates back to times when people traveled long distances on foot to attend weddings.
In contemporary times, this tradition seems unnecessary and even demeaning. The groom no longer travels barefoot, and the act of washing his feet by the bride's parents or the bride herself is outdated. It perpetuates a hierarchy that places the groom above the bride and her family.
The Haldi ceremony involves applying a paste of turmeric and other herbs to the bride and groom. This ritual is believed to purify the skin and bring good luck. In some Bengali traditions, the same paste used on the groom is sent to the bride.
While the Haldi ceremony is generally a joyous occasion, the practice of using the same paste for both the bride and groom raises hygiene concerns. Additionally, in some rural areas, the bride is made to sit under the groom's knee, and water is poured from his knee onto her, which is both unhygienic and sexist.
In Bihar, after the bride enters the groom's home, she is made to balance a pot on her head while performing various tasks. This ritual is meant to symbolize her ability to balance her new responsibilities.
While this tradition is often performed in good humor today, it originally served to test the bride's endurance and ability to manage household chores. This practice is outdated and places undue pressure on the bride immediately after her wedding.
In Bengali weddings, the bride's mother is not allowed to witness the wedding ceremony. It is believed that her presence could bring bad luck or harm to her daughter's marriage.
This tradition is both sexist and illogical. It deprives the mother of witnessing a significant milestone in her daughter's life and perpetuates the notion that women possess an "evil eye" that can harm their own children.
In many Indian cultures, the bride is expected to wear a Mangalsutra (a sacred necklace) and bangles as symbols of her marital status. These ornaments are to be worn at all times and never removed.
While these ornaments are often cherished by women, the expectation that only women should wear symbols of marriage is unfair. Men are not required to wear any such symbols, highlighting a gender disparity that needs to be addressed.
Indian weddings are rich in tradition and cultural significance, but some practices are outdated and perpetuate gender biases. It's time to reconsider these customs and adapt them to reflect the values of equality and respect for both genders. By doing so, we can preserve the beauty of Indian weddings while making them more inclusive and fair.
For more insights into Indian wedding traditions, you can refer to BBC's article on Indian weddings and The Times of India's coverage on wedding customs.
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