Summary: If there's a film that epitomizes the essence of a "so-bad-it's-good" movie night, it's Cool as Ice. This early '90s relic features Vanilla Ice in his first and only starring role, and it's as cringeworthy as you'd expect. The tagline, "How do you melt a heart of stone? Just add Ice," says it all. Released after Vanilla Ice's brief moment in the spotlight, the film languished in obscurity for years but has since gained a cult following for its unintentional hilarity.
Cool as Ice follows Johnny, played by Vanilla Ice, the leader of a biker gang that inexplicably performs in dimly lit warehouses. The gang, too tough for helmets, encounters Kathy, an uptight overachiever, while on their way to their next gig. Johnny's extreme pickup technique—nearly killing Kathy with her own horse—somehow works, leading to a bizarre romance.
Interestingly, this film marks the debut of cinematographer Janusz Kamiński, who would later work on Schindler's List and win two Academy Awards. On the flip side, the movie effectively ended the career of director David Kellogg, who waited a decade before directing the equally panned Inspector Gadget.
Johnny's gang ends up at a quirky bike repair shop run by an eccentric couple, conveniently located near Kathy's home. Kathy's father, played by Michael Gross, is in the witness protection program, hiding from thugs seeking revenge. Gross's character is portrayed as the worst cop in cinematic history, making one wrong decision after another.
Vanilla Ice's wardrobe and hairstyle are spectacles in themselves. His dead-serious delivery of lines like "Yo Kat. Some words of wisdom: Drop that zero and get with the hero" adds to the film's unintentional comedy. One memorable scene features Vanilla Ice single-handedly defeating five armed jocks, showcasing his "heroic" prowess.
Johnny's attempts to win Kathy's heart involve walking around shirtless and spouting lines like, "If you're living life for someone else, you ain't living." His creepy and criminal behavior somehow melts Kathy's "heart of stone," adding to the film's absurdity.
What makes Cool as Ice a pinnacle of bad-movie night cinema is the seriousness with which it was made. The laughable dialogue, ridiculous plot, and clichéd characters are all the more hilarious because the filmmakers genuinely believed they were creating something good.
Finding a copy of Cool as Ice is a challenge. It's mostly available on VHS through eBay or for rent at local independent video stores. Watching it with friends and a few drinks is the best way to appreciate its unintentional hilarity.
Cool as Ice is a film that must be seen to be believed. Its unintentional comedy, bizarre plot, and over-the-top performances make it a perfect candidate for a bad-movie night. Despite its many flaws, or perhaps because of them, it has earned a place in the annals of cult cinema. So gather your friends, grab some drinks, and prepare to laugh at one of the most unintentionally hilarious films ever made.
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