10 Things My Preschooler Taught Me

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10 Things My Preschooler Taught Me
by Deborah Shelton

1. That no matter how many snails are lined up on your arm,
there's always room for one more.

2. That chocolate ice cream stains on a white rug can be
considered works of art if you squint hard enough.

3. That tissues are a waste of time, especially if you have
a perfectly good shirt sleeve.

4. That ketchup smeared into television speaker holes, once
dried, actually enhances the sound quality of cartoons.

5. That cold pizza is the fifth major food group.

6. That "butt" and "poop" are two of the funniest and most
underrated words in the English language.

7. That when you're running late in the morning, every
single sock in the house will have mysteriously disappeared.

8. That the only way to truly appreciate a Scooby-Doo movie
is to watch it twice a day, every day, until the tape turns
to black and white.

9. That your friends are your friends until they wipe a
booger on your neck.

10. That when you're eating watermelon, clothing is
optional.