A Teenager’s Problem

     If the neurons(brain cells) in the memory pages of my mind serve me correctly, then I also was once a young “whipper-snapper(teenager)…although at my current young age of 68 , it seems more like a figment of my imagination running wild in the misty clouds of my mind.   Back then, when vehicles were true automobiles, and singers such as Elvis Presley actually ‘sang” instead of just yelling and talking, and music was real music instead of a din of noise, we teenagers had just about the same enigmas as the young folks of today.

     Even though “go-go juice” (gas) was less than one one-fourth of a dollar, some of us only earned about 50 to 75 cents per hour, or less – and ergo had the problem of how we were to afford to put petro in the tank, buy sodas and hamburgers for ourselves and our dates, in hope of accomplishing whatever goal we had in our minds.  Some, if not most of us were also concerned about our grades, sports of all types, and an conglomeration of other problems.  However’ we survived as best as our mental, physical, and emotional facilities would allow us. 

     Personally, I am a very firm believer that all teenagers are loaded with ambitions, talents and abilities, and they want to do what is right.  Their biggest problem is that they don’t realize that all of those talents and abilities are within them…and even if they know, they don’t have the knowledge of how to earn a good living with them.  Once they realize it, all they would have to do is choose the talent and/or ability they feel they are best suited for, and write down on paper the steps they need to take in order to fulfill that goal.

     Having said that, it was one early summer evening when a 16 year old young lady (whom I knew) came into the restaurant where I had ensconsed my happy self, reading a book.  Sitting down across from me, and obviously very agitated, proceeded to tell me she was in big trouble!  Naturally, the inflections in her voice made me to silently think: ‘Oh no, please don’t tell me you are pregnant.”   After taking three deep breaths, I asked her to calm down, and explain the problem to me.  Her answer was that she was grounded for two months --- still believing that I too was once a teenager, I knew that, from her perspective, that life itself was over for her.  Thankfully, I deleted the negative thought my imagination had conjured up about her being pregnant, I knew her life wasn’t over, and asked the proverbial question – why?

     She proceeded to explain that she had lied to her parents about something her brother did, but realized she never should have done so…that was a plus!  Then I asked her if she knew the real reason her parents grounded her, and she replied in a rather sheepish tone of voice: “yeah, because they love me!” --- that was really a big plus!  Personally,  I was really proud of her at that point, and decided to attempt to help her in her moment of distress…so I went on to say that since she knew the answers as to why she should not have lied, and that they love her, that I would offer a possible solution.  Her eyes lit up as big as doe eyes, and asked in an excited tone of voice ---how? 

     When asked what she was going to do when she went home, her reply was that she was going straight to her room…”oh sure, go home with a big pout all over your face – don’t do that!” I replied.  I went on to tell her to walk through the front door, and right up to your parents, look them in their eyes, and tell them that you know it was wrong to lie for your brother, and that you fully realize that the only reason they grounded you for so long was because they love you.  Then turn around and walk slowly to your room, and leave the door open.  I also added that she should not look back, because her parent’s mouths would be on the floor.

     About a week passed before I saw her again, when she walked into the restaurant, and where I was once again reading g a book.  Obviously being in quite a hurry, she said:  “Guess what! It worked! I was only grounded for a week. Thank You!”  She then left and I never saw her again.

     As stated earlier, all kids want to do what is right, and as adults, it is up to us to remember that they have neither the knowledge nor the experience we have.  In addition; screaming at them, hitting them, and/or handing out drastic punishments is not going to solve the problem…it will only cause them to hate you, and never have anything to do with you again in your elder years ---trust me, you will regret that! When a problem arises, please try the following:

     Tell them, from your viewpoint, what the problem consists of, and ask if they understand your point of view. If so, put you arm around them gently, and tell them that you love them…and that as your mother, or father, you want to help them in any way you can.  Both of you will now be relaxed, love and understanding will kick in, and you both will be able to solve the problem in a peaceful manner.  Kids need all the help they can get, and it is up to us parents to see that they willingly com to us for advice --- for if we don’t, they will seek it else-where (on the streets), and do you really want that …I sure hope not! Imagine what you will discover next!