Effective Discipline Children – Helping Your Child Through Separation Anxiety

You need to help them through that process by providing them with security and attention.

Separation is not only a physical absence from your child, but also an emotional or mental absence as well. separation anxiety usually comes up when you are going to physically leave them, But there are times when you are not with them when they are trying to connect with you but you are thinking about work, or paying the bills, or how you are going to accomplish all of the tasks for the day.

If you are physically there with your child, but emotionally and mentally somewhere else, you will find that your child will become whiney, needy and even obnoxious. They are using this behavior to get your attention since you are there physically but not emotionally.

With the physical separation, your child might feel sadness and disappointment as he or she is left with another caregiver, maybe your spouse or at daycare. Watching you leave will bring up feelings and emotions of sadness.

So, what do we do about it. We tend to bribe them. We will do anything to stop them from feeling the sadness and disappointment that they feel when we leave them with someone else. This only leads to your child storing up these emotions for later, when they ten to erupt in full blown tantrums and anger. As this cycle continues, things get worse, and the separation anxiety grows out of control. Separations will often become times of great conflict for you and your child, but also for the caregiver who is left with a sad and disappointed child.

To effective discipline children through separation anxiety, you need to prepare them in advance of the separation. This means allowing your child the time to feel their emotions, especially their pent up emotions.

You can transition towards separation by beginning the process of leaving at least an hour before you actually have to leave the house. This is going to allow your child the time to feel out his or her emotions and disappointment. You are giving your child the attention they want for them to open up and release any stored up fears and emotions that they have before you actually step away from them.

Your plan here is to give your child the attention while conveying to them ahead of time that you are about to leave them for a little while.

Continuing to give them your attention, you say goodbye and make your way to the door. However, you do not want to leave just yet. You want to still provide attention and listen to them as they let out their disappointments. Place your hand on the door handle as if you are about to leave, all the while giving your child attention.

Now you can leave the house but keeping the door opened slightly as you listen and say goodbye. Once the tears are gone, your child will return to a thinking state and will wave goodbye to you as you walk away from him or her. It is amazing that once all of the built up emotions are spilled out, your child will return to being cooperative during these times of separation.