Keep Your Cool

In the first few years of being divorced, we find that our emotions go through huge vacillations. One minute you're a calm, kind loving parent - maybe a little overindulgent - and the next minute you have no patience or tolerance for the kids you truly love because now you're irritated. It's a huge flip flop, and it's probably something you ought to consider getting under control, because while it might be normal, in the end it isn't productive for either you or your children. You only get one chance to raise them right.

Stress can cause us to act in ways that don't make us proud. Remember first, if you lose your temper with your kids, you simply worsen the situation. They are under pressure, too, and are probably acting out a lot more frequently than usual. If you can step outside of yourself for a moment and look at what you are actually losing your temper about, you would probably find it to not be such a big deal.

The trick is to take some time everyday to take a breath. Frankly, just take a few deep breaths. It may seem like very generic advice, but it actually works. If you find yourself starting to lose it, walk away and breathe. Evaluate what is actually so terrible at the present moment. More than likely, nothing can be as bad as all that.

When you lose your cool, you end up feeling guilty, and that just ends up in a downward spiral on the road to other bad decisions regarding your children. You can really make a difference in your own life if you try to make it a daily goal to not yell. You will be able to think more clearly about what is going on and make better decisions. Discipline will also be more effective if you don't lose your cool.

When you are a divorced parent going through difficult times and it is hard to keep a clear head, many people make things worse by losing their temper. Don't be one of those people. This does neither you nor your kids any good. Think clearly and emotion free. Be objective not subjective.

What advice would you yourself give a friend that was going through the same situation that you are going through? You already have the answers; it's just hard to find them alone when your feelings are all stirred up. Have confidence in yourself that you are able to handle what ever gets thrown your way and you will be better at keeping your cool.