Kids Tantrums

Kids Tantrums

If you have or have had a toddler, you are likely to be quite familiar with kid’s tantrums!  The “Terrible Two’s” achieved this infamous name from the tendency for kids in this age bracket to have tantrums.  Typical? Yes!  Intolerable? Yes! What’s a parent to do?

 We are all looking for ways to handle and tolerate the kid’s tantrums without ourselves having a total breakdown.  We’re the adults and need to know how to handle the inevitable tantrum in the most productive and educational way for your child. He should outgrow these tantrums, so don’t despair. 

A parent needs to know why the tantrum is occurring.  Often, the simple solution is that your child is tired and hungry.  Know when enough of an activity is enough, and is tiring the child. End the activity, feed your child and put him down for a nap.  Time your errands and activities with the child for when he is well fed and rested.

A good action for you to take when your kid has a tantrum is to pretend it isn’t happening, or politely ignore the child.  A child in the midst of a tantrum is not thinking clearly, if at all. His anger and frustration is controlling his behavior and he’s literally out of his mind.  Let the tantrum play itself out without your interference. Make sure the child can’t kick, bite or hurt himself or others.  When the child calms down, you can then talk to him.

A rule for the parent is to stay calm. Often the child’s horrible behavior excites the parent who also becomes excited and angry. Stay calm and ignore the child as best you can until the child has quieted down.  Your angry voice and behavior will only excite and upset the child more.

The hardest thing a parent must do is to not give in to the child’s wants in order to stop the tantrum.  This is reinforcing bad behavior and will be learned quickly by anyone; children, adults, and even dogs and cats!  Do not give them the candy or let them play with the scissors….or whatever. Be firm and hold your ground. 

Another good method for controlling the tantrum is to distract them. Often the tantrum occurs when you cannot ignore them, such as in the department store or market when they can’t have what is within their reach or sight.  Take them immediately out of the store or to another department and show them something interesting.  Look at the big balloons up there or see the man walking his dog, the escalator, etc.  Kids have short attention spans so this technique can quickly stop the tantrum when it occurs in a public place.

Many parents develop various adaptations of the above techniques for controlling and dissolving the temper tantrum.

You may want to read more information about your child and temper tantrums.  What is the normal frequency of such behavior and when should these tantrums diminish and disappear are questions we all have.  Educating yourself on the various behavior problems and patterns of children is imperative for all parents. Of course, discuss with your physician any problems you may be having with your child. Physical problems can also cause behavioral problems, so question any disturbing behavior with a professional.