Need Advice when meeting the Children?

 This does not mean every person you go out on a date with should be introduced to your children.  This can be confusing to children and lead to negative attention seeking behavior.  It can also cause feelings of self doubt and insecurity.  There is no reason to upset children by introducing persons who turn out to be one time only dates.

Most dating and single parenthood advice states to introduce a dating partner after there is an indication the relationship is headed for a more long term status.  This eliminates a parade of partners through a child’s life, some of which children will become fond of and then be hurt or disappointed when it doesn’t work out and the relationship ends.  This can be very difficult for a child.

Only the single parent can decide when is the right time to introduce a dating partner to the children.  A lot depends on the children.  Single parents are encouraged to begin discussing their dating prospects early on with their children.  Give children plenty of time to get used to the idea of a parent dating.

If children are showing a great deal of resistance to a parent dating; postponing the first meeting is a good idea.  Introducing your partner to soon in this situation may cause even more resentment and negative behavior. You should continue to date your partner however.  If your child thinks his negative behavior will cause you to quit dating; he/she will have no reason to attempt to correct the behavior and accept your dating

If you are the dating partner of a single parent who is planning to meet your partner’s children; here is some helpful advice when meeting the children of your dating partner.

•    Dating and single parenthood advisers recommend you keep the first visit short.  Everyone will probably be tense and nervous, so keep it short to alleviate stress.  A brief meeting at a park or a similar place might work well.  This is a neutral, non threatening place.
•    Don’t expect the welcome wagon on the first meeting. Initially you will probably be perceived as a threat.
•    The best advice when meeting the children is to be yourself.  Children will pick up on dishonesty or insincerity very quickly.  This can be damaging when trying to establish a trusting relationship with your partners children.
•    Expect children to have questions about the dating partner, both of you and the partner.  Try to answer the questions as honestly as possible.
•    Advice when meeting the children of your dating partner recommends you don’t try to force the children to like you.  You shouldn’t force your feelings either.  Let the relationship between you and the children to develop naturally.
•    Don’t be offended if the child does not seem enthusiastic at your first meeting.  The child may even ignore you initially. Give it time; they will come around.  In the meantime reassure them you are not there to replace their other parent or take attention away from them.

Meeting your single parent partner’s children can be intimidating.  Discuss the meeting with your partner before hand. Be yourself and you will do fine.