Over 200 pairs of eyes are glued to me as a spirited child screams, "ORDER ME MY MEAL NOW!"
This child has refused to order his own hamburger (as he has done many times before) and when I calmly tell him he can either order it himself, or go home without his burger, he goes completely berserk. Yes, I have entered into a “food fare nightmare"—with my formidable opponent, an eight year old child.
I feel my cheeks flush as public onlookers wait in complete stunned silence to see who will win—the big one or the little one?
The Four Parenting Keys to Taming Your Spirited Child
Surprisingly, over my years as a family counselor, I have come to love working with spirited children. These children have a fire in their belly, a spark in their eye and a feisty attitude that assures their future in walking to the beat of their own drum instead of blindly following the crowd—a trait many parents hope for during the teen years. Yet that day in the food fare I was worn out, embarrassed and on the verge of saying "I quit!"
Raising your spirited child can be exhausting. Fortunately for me, I learned some commonsense parenting tools that eliminated nearly all future fights. Allow me to share some of these parenting tips that can support your efforts in taming your spirited child.
Raising your spirited child with these four parenting tips can help you navigate the emotional mine field successfully:
What Does the Future Hold for Your Spirited Child?
These commonsense parenting tools tame the negative opposition, but let their beautiful spirit flourish. If you attempt to use traditional discipline practices and make your child do what you want, you face an un-winnable uphill battle.
Fortunately, commonsense parenting does not mean letting your child get away with murder! A commonsense approach uses firm boundaries, mutual respect and discipline—teaching a child to naturally learn and grow from their mistakes rather than fight you every step of the way.
In the midst of your next fight, you may wonder if there will be an end to the madness. I am here to tell you that there will be a resolution to your current dramas. In my case, these tips allowed me to triumph and actually enjoy raising a spirited child.
This same child who gave award-winning temper tantrum performances in public and could bring me to my knees is now a responsible, respectful and enjoyable 17 year old college student whose year ahead is completely paid by scholarships won. For me and him, we both won in the end. May it also be the same for you.
When taming your spirited child remember to keep the faith, learn commonsense parenting tips and know that eventually if you follow the basic principles above "this too shall pass."Parenting Toddler SOS: My Biting Toddler is After Our Dog and the Baby!
Parenting Toddler Biting Question: “Kelly, my 1.5 year old has taken to biting both the dog and the baby. I've tried many things and have read many parenting books but am still without a solution. What can I do? I am worried that he will either hurt our baby or the dog will hurt him”. - Mom Seeking Biting SolutionMany Parents Teach Their Kids to NOT Listen to Them – Do You?
“Dinner’s ready!” I yell.Nothing. No pitter patter of feet. Not even a polite “Coming” or “OK.” “DINNER’S READY!” I yell louder.I strain and listen. All is calm. Not a creature stirs, not a sound can I hear. Walking down the hall toward their bedrooms I manage to croak out one last “DINNER’S READY!”Psst! Your Child Secretly Likes Chores… Really
Despite what you think, children (even yours) like to do chores. This may be tough to believe when the majority of children fuss when asked to clear the table, “forget” to pick up after themselves and throw a “hissy fit” when you ask them to clean their room.