Tips and Advice When Meeting the Children of Single Parents

Meeting a single parent's children can be a daunting prospect for anyone dating a doting mother or father. When the inevitable occasion arises, it can provoke numerous concerns for both involved parties, with the newcomer to the scene pondering questions like:

• Will his/her kid(s) like me?• Am I ready for this?• What if things don’t work out between us?• How do I approach this situation?

With so much at stake, a fairly straightforward occurrence can turn into a nerve wracking one.

Take a Deep Breath and Relax

It is very good that you have these concerns.  It shows you care about the person you are with as well as the well-being of his or her child.  That said, the meeting isn’t a literal do or die, so calm down and just be you.  Remember, if you try too hard you will come off as phony, and kids smell that a mile away.  You must also reconcile yourself to the fact that the child may resent you no matter what you do or say. 

The best advice when meeting the children of someone you are dating is to take it a day at a time and see where things go.  Also, read the signs.  If the kid isn’t very responsive, be friendly but keep your distance a bit.  Let them warm up to you.  Pushing will only make them retreat.  If you are trying to build a rapport that is the last thing you want.

Taking that Big Step

Make sure that when you start discussing the possibility of meeting a single parent's children that you are ready.  Don't let the other person push you, and be honest about misgivings.  You may genuinely care about the person, but once you are introduced into a child’s life, you can’t take it back.

There are so many responses, from clinginess to standoffishness, that can occur after a child meets you.  To that end, you would hate to establish a relationship with the child and realize you were only in the relationship with the parent for kicks.  If you begin to realize that you can’t handle the situation, bow out.  Better to do this than to string the parent and the kids along if your intentions are not real.

The Kids are a Package Deal

Far too often singles who date an individual with children expect them to choose between the date and the kids.  You must remember that the children were and will forever be a part of the parent’s life.  In this regard, the advice when meeting the children of a single parent is to come to grips with the situation or simply leave.  No one has the right to ask a parent to choose between their offspring and a new romance.

Meeting a single parent's children can be a rewarding experience with the right mindset.  Even if things do not work out, you would have enriched the kid’s lives with love and companionship, affecting them in a deep and meaningful way.  Who knows, you may even discover a thing or two about yourself in the process, which can be equally enriching.