Have people told you "You're just like your mother?" or "You're just like your father?" We all have parents, but the personas we've grown since our birth is ours alone and deserves full attention. Discovering your individuality might be the main fallout from your divorce.
What made you the individual you have become today? Was it your parents? Was it the environment? What about your school teachers, your church? This topic is debated frequently. You will more than likely see influences from each of these inside your Self. Remember this: no matter where it came from, your individuality is yours to cherish, hold and enjoy.
You were probably raised with at least one, if not both, parents. So you've probably also heard someone in your life say to you, "You are just like your mother/father!Whoever said it might not have meant it as a compliment, right? Well here's the good news. It's just a figure of speech. Even if your parents were the greatest or most horrible parents that ever existed, there is no way that you are just like them.
What I am getting at is this: You are getting a divorce or have done so recently. You have thought of a million things. One reason you might fall back on is that your parents got a divorce too. If they have a successful marriage, then you are thinking, "What's wrong with me?" And if they didn't, you are thinking, "I'm just like my mother and I know my father couldn't stand her, that's why my husband left."
WRONG! Undoubtedly, you will have inherited some qualities from each of your parents. You have similar qualities of your siblings, too. Whatever the circumstance may be, there will always be similarities to the people that you were raised by or are genetically linked to. The same still holds true: you aren't them! You are your own individual Self with all that means. No one has ever been or ever will be just like you. If your marriage has failed it isn't because you yell like your mom.
The experiences you have had in your life make up who you are. Your parents are only one contributing factor. If your parents were divorced for one reason or another, that alone will not make it your destiny as well. Comparisons stink! Try not to compare your life with your parents' life. You will always be either "not measuring up to their successes" or "feeling destined to have the same failures."
Neither is the case in actuality. You will have your own successes and your own failures. You are you. Be happy with who you are, and don't focus too much on who created you. Be proud of the qualities that you inherited, but know that you are your own person.
Affordable Support for Divorcees: Virtual Recovery Communities
The aftermath of a divorce can be a tumultuous time, filled with self-doubt and fear. However, many individuals who have gone through this process have found it to be a catalyst for positive change, leading them to discover their true selves and even find their soul mates. Virtual recovery communities can provide invaluable support during this challenging period.
Can Mediation Work For You In Lieu Of Divorce
If you are about to get a divorce, I want you let you know that mediation might be a great alternative to that divorce for you. You won't have to hire an attorney and the outcome can be just as effective.
Understanding Your Divorce ' Use a Journal
Divorce emotions are hard enough one time, so you want to do everything you can not to repeat the same mistakes. Even if it looks like your ex is the one who made mistakes, it did take two to tango. If you journal about the divorce, you will discover your role and not make the same mistake twice.
