It's Probably Just Pearly Penile Papules

Jake had pearly penile papules on his genitals. However, he didn't realize it. Well, it wasn't that he didn't realize that they were there; he just didn't know what they were. Because he refused to get them checked out, he lived in a constant state of fear. It wasn't that he was afraid of going to see a physician, per se; rather, he was more afraid of what the doctor would say. He couldn't handle hearing that he had contracted a sexually transmitted disease. Little did he know that he could have saved himself a great deal of emotional trouble by going in to see a professional when he first saw the pearly penile papules.

"Dude, guess what?" asked Jake to his best friend Mike. "I think I have herpes or Chlamydia or something and I'm freaking out."
Mike paused for a second as he tried to process what he had just heard.
"Hello, are you there?" asked Jake.
"Yeah, I'm still here bro, but you need to calm down," said Mike.

Jake got up out of the chair he was sitting in and started pacing around the room.
"How, can you tell me to calm down at a time like this?" Jake asked. "This could be serious or even deadly."
"Okay, well the first thing you need to do is go and see a doctor," said Mike. "That is your best bet at the moment, because you could definitely be overreacting."
Jake stopped in his tracks. "There's no way I'm going to the doctor," he said. "That is out of the question. What if he tells me I have something that can't be cured?"
"That's why you need to go bro," said Mike. "There are really no other feasible options that I can think of."
"Well, I can," said Jake. "I will just do my research on my own and figure it out."
During the following week, Jake spent hours on the computer trying to figure out his issue.
"This can't be good," he said to himself. "Every website I go on says I probably have an STD or some form of cancer. This is so depressing."

After a couple more days, Jake finally narrowed down the possibilities. Discouraged and depressed he decided to call Mike again.

"Mike, I can't believe this," said Jake as tears rolled down his face. "I have cancer. I'm about to make a trip to the emergency room now."
Mike's mouth dropped open.
"So, the doctor really said that?" he asked.
"I didn't go to a doctor," said Jake. "I did some online research."
Mike chuckled.
"Dude you have got to be kidding me," said Mike. "Just call me when you get out of the emergency room."

After waiting a few hours, Jake finally made it into an examination room. A few minutes later he came out with a big smile on his face. He didn't have cancer. He only had pearly penile papules.