Wallpaper Murals are a fabulous interior design solution. Here's how to enjoy them safely.
One should be very careful when hanging a wallpaper mural in the home. Modern digital printing techniques have made this product more lifelike than ever and therefore potentially hazardous. Heightened reality situations can create a ‘Reverse Jumanji’ effect and intoxicated house holders have been known to attempt breaking through into what looks like a parallel existence pasted on their sitting room walls.
A prime example of this phenomenon is shown by the case of Edna B., an otherwise perfectly sensible housewife who after a domestic disagreement with her life partner sought solace in Sauvignon Blanc and decided it would be a good idea to try and ‘cross through’ into the patch of idyllic Tuscan countryside behind her sofa. Fortunately for Edna B. she tripped on a foot stool during her approach run and her velocity was decreased sufficiently to merely effect a broken nose and not outright concussion.
Another case involves the gentleman with the New York skyline wallpaper mural running from his front door to the cupboard with the hoover in it. In a moment of madness, said gentleman decided it would be a capital idea to don the garb of a crime fighting superhero (Lizard Man) and with a clothesline attached to a convenient central heating pipe attempt to swing onto East 23rd and 5th. Mercifully the clothesline snapped under the unreasonable stress and our hapless hero was merely left in an undignified green boiler-suited heap next to the downstairs lavatory. The message is clear however, pin sharp oversize images can lead to erratic behaviour in otherwise sensible consumers.
An idea to prevent such mishaps occuring might be to apply stickers to wallpaper murals much like the stickers on glass doors warning toddlers and the elderly that an invisible barrier is present. A few well placed notices in traditional yellow and black striped hazard form bearing the legend ‘Wallpaper Mural – This is Not Real’ could save our already overstretched emergency services from dealing with unnecessary facial contusions. Alternatively, a complicated and expensive array of laser beams and sensor pads could alert a daydreaming householder about to stroll onto what they think is an inviting beach by sounding an alarm or perhaps administering a mild electric shock.
Of course, one shouldn’t let these isolated incidents dissuade us from adding these marvels to our homes and enjoying them appropriately. If one practices moderation in consuming alcohol and stops reading stories with pictures in after the age of twelve then wallpaper murals are perfectly safe. Unfortunately, in these litigious times, it is often necessary to protect idiots by penalising everyone else. If you are thinking of installing a wallpaper mural in your own home you will derive much pleasure from doing so but please, consider the dangers and take whatever safety measures you feel are necessary. Thank you.
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