Divorce Forms - The Six Dos And Donts Of Child Custody

The custody issue can be and often does become highly contested.  In a lot of divorce scenarios the husband and the wife are able to settle all of the issues outside of court except the custody issue.  When this happens, the ex's will schedule a final hearing whereby they will appear in the court room and will proceed to throw each other under the bus all in hopes that the judge will award them custody of the children.

Regardless of how the ex's treat each other during the divorce, after the divorce, inside of the court room, outside of court room, the fact of the matter is that the children are helpless throughout the entire process.

Regardless of whether the judge has awarded custody of the children solely to one of the parents or jointly to both parents, the children are going to have needs that must be met in order for them to be emotionally heatlhy.

Below is a list of the Do's and the Dont's Of Child Custody.  Again just like we stated above, if the parents want their children to be emotionally healthy, there are certain things that the parents should do and likewise there are certain things that the parents should not do.  We our hope is that the list below helps:

Do Number One.  Do Communicate With Your Ex.  Whenever we say 'communicate with your ex' we are merely suggesting that you and your ex communicate about the children.  We are not suggesting that you and your ex be friends.  Remember, just be civil towards each other when discussing matters that relate to the children.

Do Number Two.  Do Communicate With The Children.  Throughout the divorce process and especially during the early stages of the process, make sure that you communicate often with your children.  We are not suggesting that you communicate to them the details about the divorce proceeding, we are merely suggesting that you talk with the children often enough that they know and feel that you still love them.

Do Number Three.  Do Be Consistent.  Whenever you and your ex set up a custody schedule, be it through a judge signed order or be it through a verbal agreement between the two of you, make sure that you honor the agreement and that you do so consistently for the sake of the children.  Doing so will help ease the strong feelings of uncertainty and axiety that the children are experiencing.

Don't Number One.  Don't Do Anything Drastic.  Throughout the divorce process and especially early on in the process, both you and your ex and also the children are going to experience a lot of uncertainty and anxiety.  Do not add to the uncertainty and anxiety by doing something drastic.

Don't Number Two.  Don't Bring Your New Flame To A Family Gathering.  A family gathering includes church gatherings, children's birthday parties, or even custody exchanges of the children.  Just like we stated above, do not add to the uncertainty and anxiety by bringing your new flame to a family gathering.

Don't Number Three.  Don't Cuss And Scream At Your Ex In The Presence Of Your Children.  Again just like we stated above, the children are helpless throughout this process and they are going to experience strong feelings of uncertainty and anxiety during the divorce process.  Don't add to the children's difficulties during this time by letting them hear you cuss and scream at the other parent.  This 'Don't Number Three' applies to all custody situations regardless of how emotionally volatile your ex might be.