Divorce Forms - Try To Avoid Taking Extreme Positions

We have written a lot of material about how to settle your divorce early on in the process. Basically, the jist of each piece of that material is the same: we encourage you to avoid thinking in terms of 'winning' your divorce, and instead encourage you to think in terms of 'settling' your divorce. By doing so, you will be able to save a lot of time and a lot of money because in all frankness, the best way to 'win' your divorce is to 'settle'.

With regard to settlement, keep in mind that there are a lot of things you can do that will facilitate settlement. One of those things is to communicate with your ex, another one of those things is to hire a professionally trained mediator. For more details about how to reach a settlement, we recommend that you take a look at some of our other articles.

Keep in mind though, reaching a settlement is as much about 'what not to do' as it is about 'what to do'. With regard to knowing 'what not to do', we have provided this article. One of the things that we encourage you 'not to do' is to take an extreme position. Extreme positions taken by either spouse during the divorce will prove to be an impediment to settlement and will ultimately cause the divorce process to drag on longer than is necessary.

Extreme Position Number One: I Want My Ex To Be Cut Out Of The Children's Lives Completely. In most jurisdictions, the Child Custody laws are written so that the judge will assume that Joint Child Custody is in the best interest of the children. That means that unless your ex is a convicted serial killer or convicted sex offender, you can be sure that your ex will be a participate in the children's lives.

Extreme Position Number Two: I Want My Ex To Support Me Financially After The Divorce. Do not misinterpret what we are saying here, most every jurisdiction in America gives the judge legal authority to grant alimony in divorce cases. If in your case, you or your ex is legally entitled to alimony, then by all means request alimony. However if you are like most divorcees, neither you nor your ex earns a lot of money. In that case, do not expect the judge to award you a large amount of alimony.

Extreme Position Number Three: It Is My Way Or The Highway. During the final months of the marriage and during the early stages of the divorce, we strongly encourage you to communicate with your ex about settlement. However, during this period of time, avoid taking the 'my way or the highway approach' to settlement. If you do take that approach, then chances are slim that you and your ex will be able to settle outside of court.