A Kinder, Gentler Definition of Marketing

Recently my friend and colleague Kristen and I led a couple of introductory calls for Your Heart-Based Marketing, designed for coaches and other service professionals. We started out by asking a simple question: “how do you react when you think about marketing?”

Here are a few of the reactions we got:

• “I get a tight sensation in my chest and a pit in my stomach.”
• “I feel small and powerless.”
• “I find something, anything else to do.”
• “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
• “I feel a lack of integrity, like I’m pushing something on people that they don’t want or need.”

Any of these sound familiar?

That last person went on to say that she had mentors who were highly successful in their careers, that people flocked to them, and they seemed to get where they were effortlessly and with no marketing.

I assured her that they are marketing, but because their marketing was invisible, they weren’t doing it in conventional ways. They may not have even thought of it as marketing but just, simply, being themselves.

Then a small miracle occurred on that call: a simple definition for marketing was born.

Communicating Clearly and Building Strong Relationships.

That’s it. No magic, no perfect elevator speech, no networking talent, no luck. No website required; especially no trying to get clients.

When I first started my life coaching business, a colleague and I would go to networking events and we’d challenge each other to come away with five clients each. We never got one, because we were focused on getting clients, not on building relationships and communicating clearly.

Imagine a scenario where a man and a woman show up to a networking event with 100 others. One is a great salesperson – he’s smooth and charming, says all the right things, and even believes deeply in what he’s peddling. He’s really going after getting new clients.

The other focuses only on establishing relationships with new people, deepening existing relationships, and communicating her message clearly with everyone.

In terms of attracting the attention and interest of potential clients, I’ll put my money on the latter every time.

Not only is this a more effective approach, it’s easier, because it only requires you to be yourself and be with people in a way that’s aligned with who you really are.

The bottom line here is an emphasis on attracting clients, rather than going out and getting them. Building relationships and clear communication attract people naturally. Pitching, selling, getting, working, and generally trying to get people to do what you want repulses them. By the way, this is true in every context, not just building your business.

Of course, building relationships and clear communication aren’t all that simple; there are some things you can do to enhance your abilities. Here are a few tips to consider for each:

Clear Communication

I say “clear,” because most of the time, marketing messages confuse or bore people. Here are some things to think about that will help you lead your marketing conversations in a way that will clarify and excite your prospects.

1. Know who your ideal clients are. This may seem obvious, but if I asked you right now, “what are all the demographics (age, gender, career range, economic status) of your target market?” could you rattle them off?

Harder still, could you come up with the psychographics? If you’re a financial planner, how important is risk-aversion in your clients? If you’re a life coach, do you want your clients to have an affinity for creativity & open-mindedness? These are the internal qualities that define the clients you want to work with.

If you’re clear with people on this, it makes it easy for them to self-select, saying to themselves, “yes, that’s me,” or “that’s not me,” and/or, “I know someone like that.”

2. Be able to talk intelligently about the challenges of your target market; nothing builds trust and credibility faster. If they know you understand what’s difficult about their situation, they’ll also see you as the person who can help them.

3. Know the value you provide. Again, this one may be obvious, but too many service providers are clear about what they do (their processes and procedures), but not about the benefits their clients receive from working with them.

Why is this important? Because prospects don’t care about your process. They care about what you can do for them. If you can’t tell them what outcome they can expect working with you in about the first minute, you’ll lose their attention and interest. Point to the outcome they want, and you retain them.

4. Have a few concise stories about client successes. These comprise the proof for the benefits of working with you. Giving them anecdotes is better than giving concepts, for two reasons: they’re real examples of how you help people like them, and they touch an emotional nerve in the listener, engaging their imagination about how you can help them too.

If you can talk clearly and succinctly about these four things, you’ll not only gain the attention and interest of your ideal clients, you’ll begin the process of building real relationships with them.

Building Relationships

1. Be genuine. You know when somebody’s being even the slightest bit phony with you, and you’re as transparent as they are. Human beings have a natural BS radar. Even if you could pass yourself off as something you’re not, do you want to run your business that way?

Remember that not every prospective client is right for you. Your ideal clients are the ones you “click” with, and you can’t develop anything real unless you think, talk, and act like the real you.

2. Get curious about them first. Ask open-ended questions and listen more than you talk. Not only will you let them know you actively care about their situation you’ll find out what their challenges are and what outcome they want. That’s valuable information for when it comes time to communicate your message to them. Don’t accumulate facts. Learn about the bigger picture that is that person.

Remember the genuine part. Only direct the conversation in places you’re truly interested in. If you find it hard to get curious or care about the person you’re talking to, it’s not your ideal client. Move on.

3. Identify a potential foundation for the relationship. Every relationship in your life has a foundation, i.e., what you find meaningful in it. Why would this person be a great client for you?

Some examples might include,

• “I get to help someone who is struggling.”
• “I like her sense of humor and open-mindedness.”
• “He challenges me to be better at my profession.”
• “I feel more creative around her.”
• “They’re paying me a lot of money for my valuable service.”

Understanding marketing as nothing more than clear communication and building relationships really is that simple. Try these things at your next networking event and see what happens in the eyes of the folks you meet. If you refine them, I guarantee you’ll see results you’ve never had before.

Until next month, happy connecting!