But I Don't Want To Use The Phone!

I have to admit, one of the things that attracted me to Internet
marketing is that it's all done through WRITTEN communication.

Writing to people is a good thing. It gives you time to respond so you
can carefully craft your words and say things the right way. It lets you
find further information before answering if need be. It also lets you
create the appropriate image of yourself in your readers mind and can
keep you out of trouble if you take too long in getting back to people.

In other words, it allows you the luxury of lying your a** off.

"Try my proven system. It's highly profitable, I assure you. I'm rich,
successful, well tanned, muscular, and sitting aboard my luxury yacht
even as I write this." (Ha! Yeah right!)

Not that I would ever do anything like that, of course!

No, what I really like about written communication is that it's easier
for me. The phone is something I've long since had a hatred for.
Let's just put it this way. Years ago before I was married I lived with
a roommate who would NOT let me pay half of the phone bill.
Why? Well, because as he said, "You never use it anyway".

I've been known to turn ringers off on phones, 'forget' to disconnect
from the Internet for hours on end, unplug phones, not answer
phones, not let others answer the phone, 'accidentally hang up the
phone, and even rip phone cords from walls.

There were extenuating circumstances involved in the cord ripping
incidences, of course, mind you.

Anyway, I must say these MLM people that I've become involved
with lately are just plain phone happy. All they talk about are
conference calls, 3-way calls, 1 on 1 calls, calling prospects, and on
and on!

It's horrible! Email can do all of that and much more! Why do we
have to use the darn phone?!

You know what the worst part is, though? I've never spent more than
$15 on a phone in my life or ordered anything other than the basic
service from the phone company.

Do you know what I have now, though?

I have a $120 home receptionist phone, caller ID, voice messaging,
call waiting deluxe, 3-way calling, a digital caller directory, and more!

I'm not done yet either. Eventually, I'll have a different long distance
plan that includes conference calling all for one monthly rate, AND I
also want to get a cellular phone.

Ugh!!! What's become of me?!

Although I admit, there is still a little of my old self left alive. The
only reason I got the $120 home receptionist phone was because I can use
it to put conference calls on speaker, mute my microphone, and then
go back to sleep. The only reason I pay for caller ID is so I know
when NOT to answer the phone. And the only reason I have 3-way
calling is so I can make somebody else do all of the talking!

(Shhh! Don't tell my upline I said that!)

Oh, I suppose I'm slowly breaking out of my shell and coming to
terms with this phone thing. It can be a useful item at times. Heck, I
used it at least twice today.

Although, you still don't see my phone number in any of my emails,
now do you?

If you ever do, please kill me.