Is Your Personal Goal Setting Plan Too Self-Centered for Your Own Good?

The Allure of Personal Development

The quest for personal improvement is seemingly endless. A simple search for "personal development" yields over 157 million results on Google, indicating a massive interest in this area. People are constantly on the lookout for ways to:

• Enhance self-confidence
• Improve relationships
• Advance their careers
• Increase their income
• Improve physical and mental well-being

However, this pursuit often leads to an excessive inward focus, which can paradoxically lead to dissatisfaction and a sense of inadequacy.

The Pitfalls of a Self-Centered Approach

The more we focus on ourselves, the more we might find ourselves falling short of an unattainable ideal of perfection. This introspective spiral can be detrimental. According to a study by the University of Derby and the Mental Health Foundation, excessive self-focus can lead to problems like social anxiety and depression (source).

John Carlson, a noted blogger in the field of personal development, vividly describes the ego as a "snarling little yap dog" that is constantly dissatisfied, highlighting the destructive nature of a self-absorbed mindset.

Shifting the Focus: The Benefits of Being Others-Centered

The philosophy of shifting focus from self to others isn't new. Zig Ziglar famously said, "If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want." This principle is echoed in the books "Go-Givers Sell More" and "The Go-Giver" by Bob Burg and John David Mann, which argue that success in sales, relationships, and life comes from focusing on what you can offer others rather than what you can gain (source).

Key Benefits of an Others-Centered Approach:

1. Increased Empathy: Focusing on others helps in understanding their perspectives and needs, fostering better relationships.
2. Enhanced Networking: By helping others, you expand your network naturally, which can lead to more opportunities.
3. Greater Personal Satisfaction: Studies show that helping others can increase life satisfaction and decrease stress (source).

Implementing a New Goal-Setting Strategy

To transition from a self-centered to an others-centered goal-setting approach, consider the following steps:

1. Evaluate Your Goals: Reflect on whether your current goals are primarily about self-improvement or if they also include helping others.
2. Adjust Your Objectives: Incorporate goals that involve supporting, teaching, or benefiting others.
3. Monitor Your Progress: Keep track of how these new goals impact your personal satisfaction and relationships.

Conclusion

While personal development is essential, an excessive focus on self can lead to dissatisfaction and missed opportunities for deeper connections and success. By incorporating an others-centered approach into our goal-setting strategies, we not only enhance our own lives but also contribute positively to those around us. This shift can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life.