Fear of Flying? Then Tame The Gremlin

In the area that we work in, Gremlin Management is a great technique that you can use with helping yourself to overcome a fear or limitation you are imposing upon yourself. Also, once you have learned it, you can use it with other individuals one on one or with groups on mass.

This came from working with a client recently who seemed determined to undermine his ability to change an aspect of his life due to negative self talk.

Simply saying to somebody, You ought to think positive is not always enough.

This is a light hearted and practical technique that I hope you like.

This Gremlin Management idea applies to anyone that wants to either stop doing something they want to stop or start doing something they want to start.

For example, if someone is trying to get better at public speaking, typically, as soon as they entertain the idea that they might do some public speaking, the Gremlin starts. Same with people that have a fear of flying. Part of you wants to do it but another part seems to be getting in the way.

The Gremlin is just another way at recognising that we sometimes have a voice in our heads telling us we are no good at something. Or, we will fail if we even try!Some people call this The Inner Dialogue, others call it the Self Talk, others may call it the Internal Chatterbox or even Cognitive Chatter. Whatever you call it, most people accept that there are voices in our heads.

What is the difference between people walking around outside with voices in their heads and those locked up with voices in their heads?A waiting list.

Now, you have control of the inner voice but some clients do not believe this. Here is how you go about helping yourself or someone else to regain control of the Chatterbox.

First of all, this is how you do the Gremlin management with yourself. Once you can do it yourself, you can do it with other people individually or with groups of people.

1 Take a moment to listen to the voice as you about to do the thing that you fear or do not think that you will be good at. What does the voice sound like? Is it male or female? Is it old or young? Is it harsh or soft?For example, I want to speak in front of others but I know it is going to be rubbish or I will just freeze and not speak.

I am about to board this aircraft but I just KNOW it is going to crash.

2 There are many parts to the mind. One part of you wants to do the thing that you are about to do. Another part of your mind is trying to protect you from failure or feeling bad. The part that is trying to protect you is the Gremlin. Give the Gremlin a name.

3 Think of the situation that you want to go into and notice when the Gremlin voice begins. In your head, thank the Gremlin by name and then replace the voice with another voice saying something likeThank you Harold - or whatever Gremlin is called - I am going to do something different today. I am going to do this scary thing and if it goes wrong then that is okay too. Or, I CAN do it actually and I WILL.

4 The more times you practice this, the more natural and instinctive it will become to take control of the chatterbox.

5 Practice this lots of times where you feel safe before trying it in the arena that you fear. This makes it easier when you are less feeling less resourceful than normal. For example, waiting until you approach the speaking podium or walking up the steps of the aircraft is leaving it too late to start practising.

I realise that this may seem a bit weird to some of you reading but why not try it. This is a very practical thing we can do in our heads whenever something is stopping us from doing what we want to do and no-one needs to know what we are doing. Also, once you get good at doing it for yourself, you can help others.

If this idea has appealed to you and you want to know more, please have a look at Taming Your Gremlin by Richard David Carson