Are You Watering Down Your Dream?

One of the things I often notice is how quick we are to water down our dreams. I know that sometimes we do have to bend to reality, but much of the time we don't even give our dreams a chance. We compromise up front, before even testing the ideal. Or we lose focus, distracted by those seductive opportunities which make our lives a bit easier now - but at the expense of the long term.

Don't Compromise

Let's be a little more ruthless. There's a scene in the film When Harry Met Sally that for me epitomizes the no compromise rule. Sally is ordering an apple pie dessert:

Sally: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing. Waitress: Not even the pie? Sally: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you really want, not just what you think you can get because everyone else is ordering off the menu.

Have The Strength To Say No

It's funny, but as soon as we start daring to dream, along come a bunch of things to test us. Maybe a job offer that approximates our vision, but doesn't quite go the full distance. Or a short-term opportunity to make some money, to make our transition more comfortable.

In the midst of change we can feel vulnerable, and it's very flattering to receive offers. It's too easy to "talk up" the nearly right job, or accept the chance to make some quick cash, reasoning that it's only temporary. But it's a slippery slope. When I left my job to start my career coaching practice, it took a few months (as is normal) to build up a core group of clients. I remember being in despair over whether I would ever make ends meet.

In Beijing where I live, many expatriates pick up some extra money by teaching English. But I knew that if I did that I would be trading in the long term for the here and now. The time and energy I would spend teaching might make the next few months more comfortable financially, but that was time and energy that I would no longer have to invest in my practice. I'd be better off in the long run if I used that time to make connections with people who might refer business to me, or to correspond more frequently with my newsletter subscribers (that's you, my dear readers!) - accepting that neither activity would have an immediate pay-off.

When those tempting offers come your way, as they will, bite back the urge to accept. Think long term. Ruthlessly protect your time and energy, and stick single-mindedly to the full- strength version of your dream.