Look in Your Fridge

Have you looked in your refrigerator lately? What do you
find there? Leftovers from yesterday that are still
appetizing? Or bits and pieces of meals you've eaten at
some indeterminate time in the past? Do you save food that
isn't enough for a meal for one, thinking you can
incorporate it into some future gourmet creation? Is your
fridge stocked with glowing, healthy, nutritious and
appetizing food? Or fruits, vegetables and other food well
past its prime?

You might think this is a strange topic, but I think there
is a relationship between what's in our refrigerators and
how we filter past experiences. In order to truly look
forward to the future, we need a clean starting point, and
that point is now. In order to truly live in the 'now', we
need to be free of past beliefs, past hurts, past
situations.. If we are hanging on to old hurts, or to
negative beliefs about ourselves because of past
situations, it is very difficult to put all of our energy
into creating life as we want it to be.

So, when you look in your refrigerator, if everything you
see isn't vital and fresh, it's very possible that
you're hanging on to old stuff in your consciousness as
well. The problem is that, like the bit of cheese that gets
lost way in the back and when you find it you have trouble
remembering it was cheese, these memories go deeper and
deeper. The deeper they go, the more likely they are to
influence your life today, and the harder it is to remember
that that's why you do what you do.

It's a lot easier to clean out your refrigerator than to
clean out these old hurts. But it is possible. Here is a
4-step strategy to release yourself from these limiting
memories. Doing any one of these steps will go a long way
towards liberating you from the past. I've also included a
5th method, a shortcut for those of you who, like me,
prefer doing things the easy way!

(1) Identify the areas of your life where you do things that
are designed to protect you.

Some examples of this might be not trying something new (so
you won't fail), not initiating communication with others
(so you won't be rejected), having trouble trusting people
for a long time (because they might hurt you in some way),
not committing to a relationship (because they might leave
you). You may need to think about this for a while. Because
we don't like to think of ourselves as living defensively,
we usually come up with other reasons for our behavior.
Seeing the connection between the what and the 'true' why
may take some time.

(2) Remember when you first felt that way.

Once you make the connection between a behavior and 'true'
why, try to remember the first time you felt the fear behind
the why. For example, your fear of failing might be linked
to something that happened in the 3rd grade, when you put a
lot of energy into something and someone, the teacher,
perhaps, belittled your efforts and embarrassed you in front
of the class. It would be very difficult to continue trying
after that. In my experience, most people, when asked this
question, usually have a ready answer. When asked why
they're afraid to fail, the memory of that teacher usually
pops right up. The trick is to ask the question.

(3) Rewrite your history.

Let the strong (perhaps adult) you rewrite this event and
release the negative emotions around it. Visualize the
situation, but this time have the person act in a loving,
nurturing way, the way you would act if you were that person
and in that situation. [This is very likely the way you do
act. Our past experience tends to make us extremely
sensitive when we see situations that resemble a negative
memory. We tend to go out of our way to make sure that
others aren't encumbered with the same negative beliefs.]
If you find it hard to reframe the memory, then visualize it
as it happened, but this time you (the strong you) step in
and comfort the you (often the child you) it happened to.
Say all the things you wish someone had said to you right
away. Remember, you are not trying to change the past as
much as changing your reaction to it.

(4) Release the old energy.

Very often, rewriting your history is enough to let go of
the negative memory that is limiting you today. You may,
however, need a little more work to be completely free.
Sometimes it is good to finish this exercise by writing a
letter to the person involved. In this example, it would be
to your 3rd grade teacher. Just start with Dear Mrs.
Pringle, and let yourself be free to write everything
you're feeling. This is usually a mix of emotions, but
don't forget to include a thank you. Part of who you are
today is because of this situation. It may have made you
more caring and more sensitive, so be sure to include that
as well. The important thing is to include all your
feelings. When you've written all there is, BURN the
letter. Release the entire episode into the universe.
Remember that this is about you and not about the other
person. You may choose to share the experience with them
after you burn the letter. If they are still a part of your
life, you may want (or feel a need) to do that. But, whether
you do or not (and you don't need to for this to be
effective), you will notice a change in your interactions
with them the next time you see them. You'll be free.

(5) Shortcut Step: Clean out your fridge!

Let's end where we started. Double the effectiveness of
cleaning out your refrigerator. With each item that you
toss, create the intention of releasing old beliefs,
situations or people. With each item, say something like
'As I release this old food, I release all old hurts and
negative beliefs. I am free.' As you play with this, the
phrase that will have the most meaning and effectiveness for
you will evolve. Use it everytime you throw something out
and notice how your life starts changing.