Making Changes With Integrity

The Free Dictionary defines integrity as "steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code," or "the state of being unimpaired; soundness." Integrity is an essential element of our spiritual growth. While integrity serves as a means for aspiring to our personal best, it also allows us to ascend the metaphorical ladder of spiritual evolution. Integrity is a measure of our progress in our spiritual development. Integrity aids us in our quest for spiritual perfection.

Without integrity, we are demoralized and incapable of making ethical decisions. This fact hinders our reincarnation cycle to the point that we are stuck in a holding pattern. We know many people are stuck in less than desirable circumstances. They continue to make bad choices. There are many poor decisions that can be reworded to read "lack of sound judgment." One of these errors in judgment being unwillingness to forgive. Withholding forgiveness leaves us with a large hole. No one can move forward in their lives while being held down by the chains of resentment. Bitterness is the sworn enemy of spiritual evolution. Although there are all sorts of events we could perceive as personal failings, resentment is the one that can endure even beyond this life. Fortunately, resentment and bitterness are easy to lose if we would just accept the things that disturb us.

At first integrity and acceptance would seem to contradict each other. After all, if the definition I give to integrity means to pursue one's highest ideals, then how could one accept things the way they are. Acceptance doesn't mean tolerating a bad situation. It means acknowledging the absolute right of an entity to remain in its existing state without interference from outside forces. That's a bit of a mouthful, but the idea is that we do not attempt to change the object or situation. We can and should improve on it however. That is where integrity comes in. We are not trying to change the person with whom we are directing our bitterness. We want to improve the situation. This process can only start with us.

You cannot make a bad situation better by trying to manipulate the variables. The sand always slides through your fingers when you try to force change on a situation. Rather than attempting to control the uncontrollable, we must accept the situation before us. If it is a person who has wronged us, and who we feel has gotten away with "murder", we should accept this person's personality. You must say to yourself "This is the way this person operates, and I cannot change him."

Next, you must resolve to improve your relationship with this person, or at least your attitude towards her. If you truly desire to make it work, then it will happen. After acknowledging and accepting a situation, my favorite axiom is "What can I do about it?" You might start by seeing the good qualities in that person, even if it is hard. Try to see through them and into their inner being. At some point, you may want to offer a helping hand to that person. A kind word or gesture can go a long way. It's not as hard as it sounds. Just change the way you deal with that person. It will all come together.