Maybe You Are a Victim

If you've ever watched Oprah or heard someone speak
about her show - then you've probably heard of Dr. Phil
McGraw. For awhile on Oprah, every Tuesday, Dr. Phil was
conducting, along with 42 volunteers, The Get Real
Challenge. It was interesting to watch - when I could - the
volunteers challenge everything in their life. The goal was to
wake people up and have them start looking at their lives
through a different lens. They were asked to be honest and
specific while dealing with their INTERNAL feelings, or
internal clutter as I refer to it.

In one of the many exercises, Dr. Phil talks about the "tapes"
playing in our heads: "Think of a big tape player in your
head playing a continuous loop. The message that is
repeated over and over becomes so well learned that it
becomes an automatic belief. It's time to go into slow motion
for a few minutes and get in touch with what you've
been telling yourself. It's time to talk about your tapes."

Dr. Phil then asks, "What are your tapes playing?"

So I want to ask you:
=>What tapes are running through your head regarding your
clutter, possessions, and stuff?

=>What tapes are running through your head regarding your
hoarding or packrat of things?

=>What tapes are playing in your head that cause you to
continue to bring unnecessary items into your life?

=>What tapes are running through your head when you
continue to buy, buy, buy?

=>What tapes are playing in your head when you continue to
add more to-do's to your list?

Maybe....
...You grew up during The Great Depression Era where a
piece of twine was as valuable as a piece of fresh fruit and
was told that you must save EVERYTHING!.

...You were told to never throw anything away that still had
"life" in it, "just in case," or it's still good for something.

...You were told to NEVER part with a gift given to you - that
you must always keep that gift out where the giver will
always see it.

...You feel you're not good enough for anybody or anything
and your possessions temporarily fill your emptiness.

...You are buried in pain and sadness from the past.

...You feel shame, failure, or embarrassment from all your
clutter and hoarding.

...You feel unimportant or undesired.

OR MAYBE you were told you would NEVER have anything!

Then you're A VICTIM

Dr. Phil goes on to say that we need to name our pain,
reveal the pain so we can move forward. We have all been a victim of something. Some wrong doing to our bodies. Some
wrong talk of our being. Some injustice to our way of thinking or dealing with stuff.

Discovering who or what victimized you can be a powerful
release for you, but how do you find it?

Try answering the questions below honestly and to the best
of your ability. Write your answers out. Let the pain and
sadness pour out on the paper. Cry, scream, let it out, and
let it go!

=>Who might have hurt you or what deep sadness have you
been carrying around?
=>What are you keeping locked up deep down inside you?
=>What secrets are you carrying around with you and
possibly using your "stuff" to hide behind?
=>When are you going to open up to yourself? Will today be
the day?
=>When were you a victim?
=>What was done or not done to you?
=>What was given or not given to you?
=>What was said or told to you over and over again?
=>Where is all the anger, fear, and pain coming from? Is it
something you've never dealt with?
=>Why won't you talk to yourself or someone about it?
=>How are you going to deal with it?

To gain control of your life, your stuff, and the tapes running
through your head you MUST STOP playing the victim! You
will have to get emotionally closer to your sadness and pain
before it can be released or dealt with. You must give your
sadness and pain a voice. One day you must make a turn in
your life and deal with it. Why not today?

Don't let your tapes eat away at you silently - deal with it
today and stop hiding behind your stuff. Allow yourself to go
forward with your life and become clutter free.

Dr. Phil told the volunteers of The Challenge that they
needed some new tapes to start running, and that if they
couldn't do it alone to please get some help! He also told
them they can't change what happened but they can change
what will happen. You choose!

Isn't time to stop feeling or acting the victim because of what
might have happened to you in your past? As long as you
live in the past and have an "oh poor me" attitude you will
NEVER be able to move forward. You are in CONTROL of
your life NOW! You get to decide and take responsibility for
your actions. Not the people that might have done you an
injustice. Not the people that couldn't give you what you
wanted or needed. Not the people that might have given you
too much or too little. Not the people that have hurt you in
some way. If you feel you are lacking something in your life
then just visit any shelter, without judgement, and just see
what lack really is. What do you have that you can give to
others?

Release, unwind, and let go of the tapes that tell you you are
not worthy, you have to keep every gift, you must hold on to
items that are still useful, that you must keep just in case, or
that you must buy, buy, buy.

You need to:
=>Address your clutter problems to find the solutions.
=>Stop believing what you've been telling yourself; "one day
I'll get organized," or "I'll keep this just in case," or "It's too
good to throw away," or "My best friend gave this to me."
=>Declare this a new day with new thoughts.

You NEED to get some new tapes in your head!

Today I'll start to get organized.
Today I'll start to sort through the clutter.
Today I will DECIDE for myself what I should keep.
Today I'll look at my stuff differently, through my eyes.
Today I'm willing to let go of items that no longer serve me,
make me unhappy, have bad memories, or are no longer
wanted.

Once you start releasing (giving) the things that might be
causing your pain, anxiety, or sorrow then get ready to start
receiving (getting) the things you really need, want, or have
been dreaming or wishing for.

The Universe is very powerful and will quickly replace the
things in your life that you've let go of freely with those of
your true needs or desires.

Victim of something - probably.
Freedom to change and make choices - ABSOLUTELY!

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be
made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define
yourself."
--Harvey Fierstein

For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard,
Janet L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at
http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many
organizational products for your office, home, and computer
at http://www.overhall.com/products.htm
Janet is a Professional Organizer, Certified Feng Shui
Practitioner, Speaker, and Author and can help you regain
control of your life, your time, your stuff, and your
environment.

Copyright (c) 2002 by OverHall Consulting
P.O. Box 263, Port Republic, MD 20676
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