Sign Your Own Permission Slip

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Claudette Rowley
==============

Sign Your Own Permission Slip
Claudette Rowley
Copyright 2003

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the
things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off
the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade
winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

Growing up, permission slips were a big part of school life -
essential to participating in special projects, field trips, or
class trips out of state. For me to take part in any adventure
outside of the classroom, my mother or father had to sign the
slip. Now, as an adult, I can sign my own permission slip. In
fact, I don't even need one! Yet I realize how often I don't
give myself permission to be who I want to be or do what I want
to do.

How many times have you decided that you wanted something, and
then denied yourself permission to have it or even ask for it?

In my experience, here are the top ten beliefs that cause people
to deny themselves permission to want what they want:

- I can't afford it.
- I don't deserve it.
- What will other people think? Someone might not like it.
- "In my family, we don't desire things like that. My parents
had the same sofa for twenty years. Why should I be any
different?"
- What if I get it and decide that I don't like it?
- I might fail.
- I might succeed.
- I can't have THAT (it's too big, too small, too expensive, too
fill-in-the-blank).
- I'll have to step outside of my comfort zone.
- And the essence of all resistance: "I am afraid."

Here's the antidote to these limiting beliefs: YOU GET TO WANT
WHAT YOU WANT. It's that simple. You get to want what you want
without judging it or measuring its merit or any justification at
all.

Here is an example from my own life. Recently, I've been paying
closer attention to what I want and how quick I sometimes am to
deny myself. For instance, I'm developing some new strategic
alliances in my business. I've noticed how rapidly limiting
beliefs will surface, such as, "Don't even bother to call that
person. She won't return your call." If I don't stay conscious
and aware, I'm stopped in my tracks. I have to keep recognizing
what I want and giving myself full permission to have it without
judgment.

Here are some steps to get you started:
1. Recognize what you want.
2. Refrain from judgment.
3. Give yourself permission to want what you want.
4. Take the action required -- for example, asking, buying,
giving.
5. Notice what opportunities open up for you and what opens up
inside of you.

Following these steps may feel uncomfortable; you might feel
fear. That's okay. These are simply signs that you are moving
away from what's been comfortable to you. You are growing!

Each time you acknowledge what you want, refrain from judging it
and act on it, you enter the flow of life. Life wants to give
you what you want. Our socialization (see ten limiting beliefs
above) tends to complicate matters and have us believe otherwise.
Recognizing what you want and giving it to yourself is a skill.
And like most new skills, it requires building the "muscle." The
more you work the muscle, the easier it is to move.

In the end, you are the only one who can sign your own permission
slip. As 2003 draws to a close, what's the permission slip you
want to sign?

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Claudette Rowley, coach and author, helps professionals
identify and pursue their true purpose and calling in life.
Contact her today for a complimentary consultation at 781-676-5633
or claudette@metavoice.org. Sign up for her free newsletter
"Insights for the Savvy" at http://www.metavoice.org.