Anger tells us many lies that we listen and respond to automatically. Once we identify these lies and the ways they undermine our lives, we can begin to take back our power from anger and find ways of undoing the knots it causes in our lives.
Anger tells us many lies. One common lie is that once we are angry, there is little we can do to stop feeling that way, we must act it out. Like a person overcome by alcohol when we become drunk with anger we feel as though it has us in its grip. Nothing can be further from the truth. We always have a choice about how to handle the feelings that arise. One by one we will now turn around some of the lies anger tells and gain true control.
Anger Is A Choice We Make
Believe it or not, anger is a choice we make. We feel justified in being angry, and this justification stokes the flames and keeps the problems alive. Once this justification sets in, we basically choose to hold onto our anger until we can get revenge.
Now, here is a lie anger tells frequently. It leads us to believe that revenge is sweet and once we get it, we'll feel good and things will be in harmony. Actually the opposite happens. Revenge does not hurt the person we are angry with. Our wish for revenge, our rage, lives inside us and poisons our own lives in many ways.
Dr. Deepak Chopra has said "The most common and direct cause of illness is anger." It is toxic for us and this toxin spreads to all aspects of our body and minds. Some of the effects of this wish for revenge include illness, high blood pressure, heart attacks, aging, lack of love, continual irritation and is the fuel for the number one illness in our nation depression.
In order to choose out of anger, in order to take specific steps that will stop anger on the spot we must first truly realize the terrible toll anger takes upon us. Rather than feel we have a right to be angry, that revenge is sweet or that our anger is making us powerful and strong, we must face the fact that this anger we are harboring is destroying our own happiness, health, clarity, peace, relationships, creativity, happiness and overall well being. The best gift you can give yourself is to let go of anger, one kind each day.
Another lie anger tells is that when you are angry you are filled with power and strength. However, the rush an individual gets from anger is counterfeit, a substitute for real strength. After the anger passes, and the consequences of the anger set in, the person usually feels weak and depleted. Often there is considerable regret for words spoken or action taken rashly.
Real strength includes the ability to refuse the false rush anger brings us, to have the power to see the entire situation for what it really is and respond with clarity and compassion. This is seldom an outcome that anger brings. It is the anger itself that keeps a person out of control. It clouds their judgments, creates enemies where friends used to be, and generally keeps the person who holds it in a prison without bars.
Another lie anger tells is that the angry person is definitely right and everyone else is wrong. A false sense of decisiveness is created. It becomes easier to take action (though the action is almost always off base). When anger subsides a person can see the larger picture and has available many ways of handling a situation that they do not have when under they are filled with rage. Suspiciousness and paranoia, which arise during, anger, and may well be unfounded, recede.
Healing Through Zen
When some people suffer they take drugs or go for therapy. Another way suffering can also be healed is through the practice of Zen. There are radical differences in these two approaches. This article describes the way Zen practice views and handles suffering. It offers a completely alternative way to cope with the stress and pain we go through.
The Secret to Healing Loneliness
Loneliness is one of the great sufferings of our time. Despite being constantly online and tuned in, the heart needs human warmth and contact. This article explores the true causes of loneliness and offers specific, wonderful steps to healing it, to freeling truly connected, knowing how and where you truly belong.
When Change Comes (Steps to Dealing with Uncertainty)
When change comes our usual reaction is to grab and hold onto what is familiar. We do not realize that the harder we hold, the more we crush whatever it is we have in our hands. There are other ways we can handle change which are constructive and take a great deal of pain and struggle away. This article offers specific tools and guidelines on a new way of viewing and relating to the changes we are going through.
