Wring Out Your Worry

You know what it’s like—you spend an afternoon distracted about the presentation you have tomorrow morning, or you spend the evening preoccupied about the upcoming airline flight, or you spend the drive home anxiously wondering if you left the garage door open when you left this morning. Worry can be paralyzing—it fills our life with unnecessary pressure. Worry is fear about something that does not even exist. If you stop to think about it, worry is ridiculous.

Worrying is an emotional malady so prevalent among our species that we rarely recognize it and almost never talk about it. Worry contaminates our thoughts, our sense of well-being, and even our ability to take action.

Worry is so much a part of our thinking that we do not even notice when we are doing it. Take a moment and try to remember what was on your mind today. What thoughts raised your heart rate and scrunched your brow? Are you worrying about your new job, your low bank account, who your daughter might be meeting at college, your long to-do list, or what your neighbors think of your new boyfriend? Whatever it is, let it go. Worrying is a waste of time and energy—all it does is stress you out and bring you down.

You know it would serve you to stop worrying, but trying to do so can be challenging. For most of us, this concept is a great idea that is very difficult to implement. Many people seem to have been born with a worry gene. Instead of trying to eliminate all worry, begin with a different approach. Wring out and restrict your worrying:

1. Start with Awareness
Start to become more aware of when you are worrying. By becoming conscious of it, you can begin to change your behavior. When you notice you are worrying, take a deep breath and then let it out to relax you a bit.

2. Be Present Now
When you become aware that you are worrying, ask yourself if what you are worrying about is related to today. For example, if you are worrying about a speech, a business meeting or a potential promotion, is that something that is going to happen today? If the answer is no, then you are not allowed to worry about it.

3. Take Action
If what you’re worrying about is something that is happening today, then reframe your worry thoughts into planning thoughts. Instead of worried thinking like "I hope my pasta primavera will taste good tonight," reframe that into a planning thought: "Is there anything I can do to improve my pasta primavera?" If the answer is yes, do it. If you have already done everything there is to do, then there is nothing to worry about.

4. Plan
When you find yourself worrying about ongoing issues like a recurring health challenge, financial difficulty or difficult relationship, make a pact with yourself to stop worrying and engage in some planning time. By asking yourself powerful questions instead of staying stuck in the worrying rut, you can improve your situation. Then, of course, follow up your planning with consistent action.

5. Ask Powerful Questions
The powerful questions you might ask yourself are "What would it take for me to stop worrying about this?"; "Is there a different choice I can make that will provide me with more well-being?"; or "Is there something I can say or do right now so I can stop worrying about this?"

6. Trust Yourself
Life will go the way it goes. There is much we cannot control. We cannot control the weather, other people or even if parking will be available when we get to our destination. Recognize that you can only control yourself and the choices you make.
Remind yourself that you are capable and competent and that you only have the power to affect your life to the extent it is possible to do so. If you cannot control a situation, it does you no good to worry about it, so simply let it go.

"Let it go" is a good overall motto to implement regarding worry. When you notice you are worrying about things outside of your control, let go of these thoughts and think about something you can impact. Begin to say to yourself, "Don't worry about it." Make that your mantra, and watch your worry disintegrate. You’ll then discover more positive and powerful thoughts filling your mind.