For many people, their first attempts in interracial relationships start online. This is a great help for introverts or people who are just shy, as it allows you to meet others without exposing yourself too much.
For many people, their first attempts in interracial relationships start online. This is a great help for introverts or people who are just shy, as it allows you to meet others without exposing yourself too much. However, being too shy deprives you of the chance to pursue your goals and often limits you to only talking with people who make the first move to connect with you. White women looking for black men are often drawn to lively personalities that are not afraid to communicate and share their thoughts and emotions. If you are the quiet type, that might sound scary, but we are not talking about a huge personality change here. It is the little things that can help you overcome your shyness and allow you to approach the people that really interest you.
Start small
If you have a huge crash on this lady that you met online, but you feel that she is super popular and everyone is hitting on her, warm up by talking to someone you are not so interested in. It might sound counter-intuitive, but when you talk with people you are not obsessed with, you are much more relaxed. So pick a girl that seems interesting and wants to date black men and start chatting with her. Keep it casual and do not make any promises or ask her out, if you are not genuinely into her. Just chat on a friendly level. Once you open up, you will realize that overcoming your shyness was not that hard after all.
Make a list
That's right. Get a pen and paper and make a list of things that interest you. This way you won't run out of discussion topics when talking with someone new. Many shy people are terrified that others will find them boring or that they will run out of discussion subjects. The list will help you overcome that fear. And always keep in mind that it is not solely your responsibility to keep the discussion interesting. It's a two player game after all!
Say it out loud
Admit that you are shy. Most of the times, the other person will try to make your life easier and guide the discussion. They might ask you questions about yourself or talk about their life until you warm up and are ready to talk. Making it clear that you are shy might seem like a childish thing to do, but it puts your date at ease. Knowing that they didn't do something wrong and you are just naturally quiet until you get to know someone can be reassuring. It takes a lot of pressure off of your shoulders.
Ask for company
If you jump from the online dating level to a real-life date, you can suggest that you meet with a larger group the first time. Don't make it seem like a date. Keep it casual and propose a good party, nightclub or karaoke night, where “I will anyway be there with my friends. Do you want to hang out?” This way your date can also bring company and you can spend time with each other, while enjoying the comfort of your own friends around you.
Always keep in mind that shyness is not a bad personality trait! It is part of who you are and it is probably part of your charm as well. You might find that shyness makes your life hard when you want to date, but it might be exactly that shyness that draws the girl of your dreams to you.
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