Beauty Is In the Eye of the Beholder

I could write a lot of really good reasons of what we come up with in order to not like our body, or why we want it to look differently. If I skate past all of that and get to the bottom line, however, it boils down to having a poor self-image and feeling unworthy to feel good about ourselves.

How far would you be willing to go to be thinner? Would you be willing to give up 3 years of your life? Sounds ludicrous for me to even ask, doesn’t? Yet, according to a poll conducted by Psychology Today magazine, 24 percent of women and 17 percent of men answered that they would be willing to do just that.

How does someone get to this place where they would rather chop off time they would have with loved ones, etc. in order to be thinner? It’s easy to point the finger at a long list of factors:

• Media
• A misconception that a heavy body is generally associated with lack of self control and extravagance whereas a thinner body is associated with health, attractiveness, and being altogether.
• Having experienced sexual abuse or particularly difficult teen years.
• Etc.

I say it’s simple to point the finger at these because it’s much easier to blame something outside ourselves than it is to work with the reality that lives inside us. The reality is that those factors only have the power to disturb your peace if you allow it.

When we truly get that we create our reality, only then do we create the opportunity to choose another reality. If you judge what you see when you look in the mirror enough times, guess what? You will believe it – regardless of whether you are accurate.

If we get sucked into thinking that the answers lie outside us, or waiting for things to change, we continue being victim to our circumstances. I don’t get a sense that the inundation of negative media will be leaving us any time soon. In each moment we have the opportunity to create our reality. In each moment we have the opportunity to choose what supports us.

Look in the mirror. Do you like who you see? Do you like what you see? I dare you to find beautiful things about you. I have gorgeous eyes. What beauty can you find? It’s comfortable judging yourself. If we participated in a fraction of positive self-talk that we do with negative-self talk! Well, it would be wonderful. I dare you to break out of your comfort zone.

It’s you who has to see your beauty and to create a life that is worth choosing to live three more years. It’s not the job of your husband, children, parents, boyfriend, or partner to find your beauty. Make it a morning ritual to see at least one thing beautiful (or handsome) about you. Imagine being able to let go of all the obstacles that keep you from seeing your beauty. I say ‘seeing your beauty’ because you are already beautiful right now. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything to have that quality. It already is. What would it be like to know that you don’t need fixing? I’ll tell you. It’s amazing.