What New Year’s Resolution?

It’s now the end of January and all of those weight related New Year’s Resolutions for most are already a figment of the imagination from a bygone time of hopefulness that somehow this time would be different.   

I would love to find some data on the percentage of people who follow through in their resolutions in their entirety. In January, I could not find a parking space at my gym for the life of me and had to make a habit of it to come as much as twenty to thirty minutes earlier to work out with my personal trainer to actually find a space! What a thing to complain about! It was great! I’ve noticed lately, however, that there are plenty of spaces available in the parking lot now. As a coach I find this quite discouraging. 

Where does the enthusiasm go? When did the discouragement begin? Has the hole of hopelessness been dug even deeper now? If so, a great question might be, “What can I do now to alleviate some of the guilt I’m feeling?” 

First off, I’d consider that there might be an opportunity to learn from this pattern of starting a project and not completing it. Secondly, I really encourage people to not make New Year’s Resolutions, period. It’s curious to read some synonyms for the word resolution: decree, declaration, decision, oath, promise, and pledge, to name a few. And if you think that you can wiggle out of not being one of those who made a New Year’s Resolution to release weight, I’d bet that chances are that this pattern of agreeing to do something and not following through is much wider ranging than just with New Year’s Resolutions. Ask yourself if you ever said that you will do something and then not follow through with it? The bad news is that there are automatic prices we pay for breaking our agreements. The good news is that there are automatic benefits for keeping them. 

What can you do to start working with keeping your agreements more? It’s really simple: Make fewer agreements. Start with the easy ones! Are you one of those who say at the end of a conversation, “I’ll call you next week”? I’d really encourage you to not make that agreement as silly as it sounds. Try becoming aware of simple agreements like this one for the rest of your day today. If you want to go one step further, don’t make any agreements until you write them down or fully intend to keep them! You might be surprised at how much more energy you have at the end of your day. Believe it or not, there is a part of you who keeps track of all these commitments. When you keep your agreements, this part of you makes a deposit in your personal trust bank account and when you break your agreement, you get one withdrawn. What does your balance sheet look like? 

I encourage my clients to set intentions instead making agreements, particularly for New Year’s Resolutions. Some of the synonyms for intention: meaning, purpose, aim, intent, target, plan, objective. For me, there is a lot more compassion available to me when I set an intention versus an agreement. Just yesterday a friend asked me to remind her to do something when we arrived back at her house and I agreed to do that. Ten seconds later, I renegotiated my agreement and said that I would do that only if I remembered to. It’s subtle, yes. And, it can make a big difference in your weight release journey. 

What does keeping my agreements have to do with Weight Release? Everything! Every time you say you are going to do something and don’t follow through, you break your word with yourself and there are automatic prices you pay such as trusting yourself less, lack of self-confidence, lack of… The list goes on and on. I remember I used to always tell myself I would not indulge in any goodies at the office, the bagels & cream cheese, the donuts, etc. and I would smell the delicious smells coming from the toaster when refilling my coffee or walking by the break room and then that ‘unconscious’ switch would consciously get flipped! Wham! The next thing I knew was that I was in line for the toaster to toast my own bagel. Never in my life has the taste of the bagel superseded the feeling of not keeping my word. It’s almost indescribable. 

My challenge for you this month is to be more aware of your agreements – both with others and with yourself. There are so many creative ways you have fun with this. Consider making it a game with yourself! If your weak point for eating bagels at the office is in the morning, set an intention (or an agreement only if you truly intend on keeping your word) to not eat them from 8-11a and then after that if you still want one, you know you kept your word. If evening time is your weak point when you have a tendency for eating junk food, set an intention to not eat junk food from 7-9p at night. Follow up on that phone call you said you were going to make! Ask a friend or family member to support you in your intention! There is something about asking for support which makes setting up new supportive habit so much easier to establish than by doing it alone. It’s also a great exercise in receiving. 

I’d like to share my New Year’s Resolution I set way back January 1st.

“My intention is to be more compassionate with myself than in the past.”  

It’s simple, very doable, and you probably have no idea how good it feels good at the end of the year to acknowledge myself for keeping my intention. It’s my guiding light for the year.