Are you projecting an unapproachable vibe without even realizing it? Many successful women find themselves single despite their desire for a meaningful relationship. This article delves into the reasons behind this phenomenon and offers actionable advice to help you align your external image with your internal desires. Discover how self-reflection and mindful adjustments can open the door to new and fulfilling relationships.
Andreya writes: “I do want to be with my body/mind/soulmate. I don’t remember being abandoned by girlfriends while I was dating someone nor when I broke up with him. I found my girlfriends most supportive. This was true for boyfriends and when I divorced. I have long-term male and female friends, friendships lasting decades. I am visiting a guy friend and his family as well as a single friend for two weeks each on my trip to California. AND, I am still single and would prefer to be with my body/mind/soulmate. (I want it all.)”
Thank you for your message. Your ability to maintain long-lasting friendships is truly admirable. Having a strong support network is invaluable, much like the reliability of a good cell phone network. However, despite your wonderful friends, it seems that your desire to meet a soulmate is not aligning with your current reality. You either meet men who don't qualify or aren't meeting new and interesting men at all.
From my experience working with highly successful women who are not in long-term relationships, I've noticed a common thread: they are often unaware of the image they project to the world. Many are shocked to discover that they are sending out an "I'm not available" vibe. This unintentional signal can be incredibly effective at keeping the "right" type of man at bay.
How many potential partners with real promise have you dated in the last year? If the number is low, it might be time to consider that you are projecting an unapproachable image. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 51% of single adults in the U.S. are not actively looking for a relationship, which could be a reflection of the vibes they are unknowingly sending out (Pew Research Center).
If you suspect you might be sending out an "I love being single" vibe when you actually want to project an "I'm ready for a meaningful relationship" vibe, it's crucial to look inward. Take a few days to compile a list of all the best aspects of your life right now. What are the advantages of being single? Initially, you might not find many, but give it some time. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide whether you are negotiable on it.
If self-reflection doesn't yield clear answers, consider asking a close friend to review your list with you. Their perspective might add an extra dimension to your self-inquiry. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, friends can provide valuable insights into our behaviors and attitudes that we might overlook (Sage Journals).
Once you identify the root cause of your singleness, you'll likely experience one of two outcomes:
Either way, this self-reflection process is a win-win. You'll either find contentment in your current state or open yourself up to new possibilities.
Good luck to you, Andreya!
Catherine
By understanding the image you project and making mindful adjustments, you can align your external persona with your internal desires, paving the way for meaningful relationships.
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