Tears streamed down my face as I sat on the edge of a raised flower bed in my garden, watching the blue Ford drive away with Nick’s planer and other carpenter tools. Nick had passed away two months earlier, and it was time to part with some of his belongings. I felt utterly alone, grieving as the first items were sold.
For the initial three months after Nick’s death, my grief felt like a red-hot brick lodged in my chest. I cried frequently and in the most unexpected places, like when I saw Nick’s friend at a banquet where I was accepting a donation for the organization I represented. Whenever sadness and tears surfaced, I let them flow. There was no holding them back.
After five months, I felt a weight lifting off me, as if I had shed a heavy blanket. I had more energy and began to feel alive and happy again. I started focusing on winding down Nick’s business and managing the acreage where we lived, including an unfinished addition to our house.
I began to ponder my future: What now? What was I going to do alone? What did I want? Was this a time to be celibate? I had been studying a yogi who advocated celibacy for spiritual and personal growth. However, I realized that I wanted a relationship again.
One Saturday, five months after Nick’s death, I noticed a flyer pinned to the corkboard at a favorite restaurant, advertising a vision workshop. My girlfriend and I decided to attend.
There were 12 to 14 of us, both men and women. We discussed setting up a vision for the things we wanted in our lives and managing the fear that surrounds new beginnings. I imagined transforming my fears from ferocious tigers to tame, meowing pussycats at my feet.
I considered my beliefs around relationships: I believed that men and women could have fulfilling lives together, and I believed I could be a good partner. With Nick, I had learned a lot about my anger and wanted a relationship where I could do things differently. I had seen how my anger had affected Nick, who was frightened when I became angry. I decided not to feel guilty about my past actions. I knew I had good communication skills but needed a partner who was willing to listen.
I have been a spiritual seeker all my life and felt it would be challenging to find someone with the same values and ideas. It had been difficult for Nick to accept my spiritual beliefs, which caused discomfort for us. My future partner would need to share those interests.
I thought about my values, wants, and needs. I considered my life in all aspects: work, living space, and relationships. My vision included all these elements, described in delightful detail. I listed all the qualities I wanted in my future partner without being overly specific. For instance, I wanted a handsome, attractive partner but did not specify that he had to have black hair, blue eyes, and be six feet tall.
I wrote my first draft, meditated on it, and finished my vision. Three weeks later, I met the man of my dreams! He is a perfect match for me, and six years later, our relationship continues to be wonderful. We live, love, and laugh joyously. Life is fantastic.
The amazing thing is that at the time I was writing a vision of my ideal life and partner, so was he! The Universe, in a magnificent gesture, brought us together through a mutual friend.
Vision writing is incredibly powerful and is the first step in the process of transition. Its power lies in creating an image that attracts our desires to us. We energize our vision by enjoying its images as if we were actually living it now. This is like putting gas in our car, giving the vision energy to manifest.
As I wrote my vision, I spent time imagining all the details so that I could see, hear, smell, and taste it. All of this imagining was done with emotion. I visualized standing in the rooms, felt the Egyptian cotton sheets, enjoyed the smells in the garden, and felt my lover’s touch on my skin—mmm, delicious!
Sometimes change is thrust upon us when someone leaves us, or we create it when we leave a situation. Vision writing creates a clear picture of your new beginning and gathers your resources to manage it, if you allow it.
Write your vision and give permission for your dreams to unfold. Yes!
