Whether or not people like you can determine your entire future. That's a powerful statement, isn't it? In this article, Sylvia Hepler, an Executive Coach and Owner of Launching Lives, answers the critical questions that back up the important role likeability plays in our personal and professional success.
Whether or not people like you can determine your entire future. That's a powerful statement, isn't it? If you are likeable, you are more apt to enjoy a happy marriage and fulfilling friendships. If an interviewer likes you, he probably offers you the job, eventually promotes you to a higher position, and trusts you with increased responsibility. If your boss likes you, she finds a way to give you the raise you deserve. The more well liked you are, the more likely you will keep your job—even during tough times. The truth is that likeable people win in many different ways.
If you and I were in a conversation about "the likeability factor" and its role in job success, you might ask me the following questions. And I would give you the following answers:
Why is it so important to be likeable today?
Because we live in a global world that depends upon connections, relationships, collaborations, and partnerships, people need to learn how to get along with each other for the greater good. Fewer folks work alone these days. Most interact with several or many individuals every day. When people generally like their peers, team mates, superiors, and staff, they produce products and deliver services of higher value. This outcome is critical, since the world now demands it. Your likeability contributes to the worth of goods and services. Your likeability also contributes to a positive work environment, reducing everybody's stress level.
What is the difference between likeability and charm?
Charm is temporary and superficial; genuine likeability is a deeper trait that sticks around. It is difficult for people to sustain the seductive allure of charm, especially during challenging or tough situations. This explains why lots of folks appear to be ideal candidates during job interviews and then everything falls apart two weeks after they are hired.
How do you know if you are likeable?
You can determine if you are likeable by considering how frequently you smile, how often you support other people, how likely you are to help folks meet their goals. You need to evaluate your attitude, your tendency to judge, your tone of voice, your ability to demonstrate caring and concern. Think about how easy you are to get along with overall. Assess your general state of being. Do you usually feel peaceful and happy inside? If so, that internal contentment empowers everyone around you.
What does unlikeable look like?
Other people find you unlikeable if you constantly interrupt them, if you frown a lot, if you smolder with anger or erupt in rage on a regular basis. They dislike you if you are passive aggressive. They dislike you if you tell inappropriate jokes, create conflicts for no reason, and focus mainly on yourself. Discounting others' feelings and minimizing their contributions to elevate your own causes people to dislike you.
Why are some people unlikeable?
There are various factors that cause people to be unlikeable. These include: unresolved childhood resentment over deprivation, neglect, excessive criticism, or abuse and personality disorders, victimization, low self esteem, chronic disappointment, and feelings of inadequacy.
Can a person increase his/her likeability?
Yes. The good news is that you can boost your personal likeability factor anytime you decide to do so. Start with simple actions such as smiling, wishing your employees a productive day, giving a coworker your undivided attention, helping someone to solve a problem, and showing more of your authentic self. Take time to laugh. In short, do things to attract people rather than repel or annoy them.
What are the benefits to being likeable?
If you are well liked by most others, you discover that people listen to you, believe you, and trust you. They care about what you think. They take you seriously. They want to spend time with you because you motivate them, energize them, and make them feel comfortable. If you are likeable, you increase your value to individuals, the workplace, your family, and the world. If you are likeable, you get selected for jobs and are less prone to being fired. Likeability can't save you from every calamity, but every ounce of it sure helps. You simply can't afford to have people dislike you.
What Message Is Your Professional Image Sending?
Do you have sense of how other people view you when they first meet you? Do you really know what others in your professional world think of you, even after years of being in a relationship with them? Do you realize what messages, spoken and unspoken, you are sending every single day? Have you thought about this? If you haven't already done so, it's time to pay attention to the direct and indirect messages you send. Your promotion may depend on it.
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