It is not unheard of to hear tales of unpleasant comments and attitudes in the work environment. When seeking new employment or a new career, add to your list of wants a pleasant environment, which nurtures growth and development, plus co-workers who are a pleasure to work with.
"Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." --Leo Buscaglia
When working in disagreeable environments, the urge to get away and find something different is a reactive response to what isn't working. Unless you stop running away from what you don't want by being responsibly proactive in stating what you do want, you will stay in the same pattern and keep getting the same results. Taking responsibility is not blaming anyone. It is being courageously responsible to awakening your potential power to the changes wanting to be expressed.
Often what happens is that we don't realize how complaining and making others wrong is adding fuel to the fire of dissatisfaction. If your career has a trail of working with unappreciative people, look back briefly to listen to yourself complain. How often did you repeat your frustration and anger to other staff members, family and friends? That is a whole lot of negative energy being accumulated.
I sure have done my share of spewing negativity and feeling like the victim. I didn't get it then that I was reinforcing what wasn't working through my thoughts and words. I would anchor in and continue to complain until change interrupted, as it will always do, to signal me to either transform or keep getting what I was getting. I took responsibility for what I was attracting and took the necessary steps to process and move forward in my personal and profession life.
It is amazing how many signs one gets before saying enough is enough. Change doesn't have to be done all at once. Small steps can take you to the top of your mountain. Create the space to make room for growth to something better - something more. If something isn't working, I believe there is another way.
Tapping into my inner guidance and growing into self-awareness has been a journey worth traveling. My coaching certification and leadership program were done while working full time at a job that was very demanding. I was able to take the courses without interfering with my work schedule. I used vacation time and my overtime was honored as time off when necessary.
Make room for getting the job and career you want. It starts with you, right now with deliberate intention taking full responsibility in building a working environment by being more positive. Do what you can to build an optimistic reservoir of positive feelings, making friends, and networking.
One of my favorite things to do is complimenting people I meet. Complimenting another person even though you have never met is magical. It is sending a special "hello." "Hello, great report/article/presentation." "Hello, you look fabulous." "Hello, really great haircut." How would it make you feel when someone - a stranger no less, thinks enough of you to compliment you?
Maybe the compliment is received by someone who had a bad day and what you just gave them is a great comfort. Maybe the compliment you sent brought a smile and brightened their day. Maybe the compliment you sent had you feel good, kind and generous.
You are generous when you pay attention to a quality or feature of someone by acknowledging them for it. Often there is hesitancy to say something kind to another. Perhaps you feel vulnerable. Vulnerable because maybe you are shy and the receiver may not be a good receiver of compliments, which has to do more with the self perception of the receiver.
The receiver may even be suspicious thinking you want something and trying to butter them up...and if you are, then that is manipulation not sincerity. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Sincerity is the highest compliment you can pay."
Are you a receiver who disputes a compliment? I notice how I can dispute a compliment. For example, a friend told me they liked the teal color of a raincoat I was wearing. "It looked nice on me," she said. Dispute: "Really? This coat is so old!" What have I done? I have negated her compliment and made her wrong in that she doesn't know what she is talking about. This coat is too old, etc. It is important to be a good receiver in hearing the positive.
Generosity is not only of the material things you offer. It is also your way of being. I have to admit that sometimes boundaries are not set up and givers can get abused. Then you are giving your power away. There is no power in being a people pleaser. It is self-sacrificing when saying "yes" when you really want to say "no." It takes away from your peace of mind, your dreams and well being. You are being generous to yourself and the other person/s involved in saying "no." Learn to say "yes" to your dreams of a better life and career.
If you are in a new career, job or back in school, are you complaining your way to the top? Or are you appreciating and loving what you are doing? The best way to get to the top with ease is to lighten up with appreciation. How many people will you compliment today?
Questions Have the Answers:
• What is it you want to be appreciated for?
• What is it you appreciate - no matter how small or big - about the people you work or want to work with?
• What are the characteristics of the personalities you love working with?
• What would it be like to work with people you enjoyed being around?
TIPS:
• Use your list of things you want to be appreciated for and look for those same things in another and acknowledge them as you would like to be acknowledged.
• Taking others for granted is a mistake. Say something nice to someone you appreciate, even if they are not a good receiver. This is you building an escrow of positive energy.
• Expand your generosity by complimenting everyone you meet today. Notice your reaction and how you feel when you are complimented. If you aren't a good receiver of compliments, become one. Your self-confidence and self-appreciation depends on it.
• The more you appreciate, the more you attract appreciation.
Be certain to be true to yourself and remember that Anything is Possible.
Copyright 2008 - Theresa-Maria Napa, CPCC
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