An SEO Copywriting Makeover – Turning “Not” Into “Hot” Part 2 of 2

by Karon Thackston © 2003
http://www.copywritingcourse.com

In part one of this article series, I outlined a recent project I undertook for a Web site that sells gas logs. The site had a lot of potential, but in its current state the sales orientation of the index (home) page and the keyword saturation were causing less-than-stellar results for the client. My job was to rewrite the index page (from scratch) in order to boost SE rankings and response.

In part one, I gave the details of how I assessed the current copy, how I created a “to do” list of objectives, and how I reworked the copy in order to increase search engine optimization. Now – in part two – we’ll continue.

The remaining items on my “to do” list included:

1. Make the copy more inviting.
2. Draw visitors into the fireplace experience.
3. Don’t just give features… give benefits, too.
4. Make the sale before sending them to the dealer.

Make the Copy More Inviting and Draw Visitors Into the Fireplace Experience

The current copy actually only consisted of one short paragraph that basically instructed the visitors to imagine their homes with Eiklor gas logs, told them that this site couldn’t give them the true experience of gas logs, and that they should visit their local dealer.

But I wanted to get the site visitors in the “mood” for gas logs. Even though they may not be able to fully experience the atmosphere created by a fireplace-lit room, I wanted them dreaming about it prior to leaving the site. I also wanted them to be sold on Eiklor gas logs *before* they went to their local dealers.

Fireplace dealers normally don’t sell just one brand of gas logs. Before the customers went tromping off to dealers who might try to sell them a set of gas logs with a higher profit margin, or with a special dealer rebate, I wanted to be sure the site visitors would be so impressed they would purposely mention the Eiklor name.

The original copy is here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/Eiklor/EiklorFlames.html
The revised version (not formatted) can be viewed here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/Eiklor/EiklorFlames-Revision.doc

As you’ll see, more emotion, more feeling, more of the personal experience of having a home with a fireplace is revealed in the new version. It connects better than the simple statement of “Imagine these gas logs in your home.”

Don’t Just Give Features… Give Benefits, Too and Make the Sale Before Sending Them to the Dealer

The next section of the copy has a two-fold purpose. One is to bolster the features of these logs with associated benefits so the site visitors better understand what they’re getting. The second is to convince them that – once they visit their local retailers – they need to ask specifically for Eiklor Gas Logs.

The section with the bulleted list serves both purposes. By giving quick statements about both the features and benefits of these logs, I’m giving the visitors the opportunity to scan for what they need. I’m also quickly making points about the quality of these gas logs. Lastly, I’m answering the ever-important question “What’s in it for me?”

The closing paragraph reiterates that Eiklor is considered one of the best and that the site visitors should go to the local dealer and see these logs for themselves.

Overall, the copy was greatly improved in both respects – search engine optimization and sales orientation. Now the page is fully prepared to bring in new visitors and turn a profit from them.