Going Dutch: Navigating the First Date Bill

What Does "Going Dutch" Mean?

• Definition: Splitting the bill equally between all parties.
• Origin: The term likely originates from the Netherlands, known for its egalitarian culture.
• Global Variations:
  • In Latin America, it's "pagar a la Americana" (pay American style).
  • In Italy, it's "pagare alla romana" (pay like they do in Rome).

Perspectives on Going Dutch

Feminist Viewpoint

• Independence: Many women prefer to pay their share to maintain independence.
• Expectations: Some women feel that if a man pays, he might expect something in return.

Traditional Viewpoint

• Chivalry: Some men feel it's courteous to pay for the date.
• Emasculation: Others might feel emasculated if a woman insists on paying.

Real-Life Experiences

• Jenna, 21, Student: Prefers when a guy offers to pay but ensures she pays on the second date. This approach allows her to express interest in a future date.
• Cal, 32, Construction Worker: Learned to gauge his date's preferences. He once dated someone who preferred going Dutch and adjusted accordingly.

Tips for Navigating the Bill

1. Know Your Date: If you've met online, use prior conversations to gauge preferences.
2. Communicate: Discuss who will pay before the date or at the end of the meal.
3. Be Flexible: Adapt to your date's comfort level and preferences.
4. Avoid Assumptions: Don't assume traditional roles; be open to different arrangements.

Interesting Stats

• Changing Norms: A 2019 survey by YouGov found that 55% of Americans believe splitting the bill is the best approach on a first date. Source
• Gender Differences: The same survey revealed that 63% of women prefer splitting the bill, compared to 47% of men.

Conclusion

Going Dutch on a first date can be a practical solution, but it's essential to consider both parties' comfort levels. Whether you choose to split the bill or not, the key is open communication and mutual respect. By understanding different perspectives, you can navigate the first date bill with confidence and ease.

For more insights on dating etiquette, check out Psychology Today and The New York Times.