For female eyes only: boosting your sex appeal.

Of course, do whatever you need to do to make yourself look as good as possible – only because this will help you feel more confident. But while you're exfoliating your face, putting on your sexiest underwear (which you have NO intention of letting him see on the first date) and spending a fortune on miracle hair products, understand this: sex appeal has more to do with what's inside than outside.

The sexiest quality a woman can have is self-confidence. And to be confident, it's crucial that you don’t compare yourself to other women. For a woman to feel confident, it's important that her confidence comes from within. In other words, don’t let your success with men – or lack of success – affect the confidence factor. Confidence comes from knowing who you are, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and taking pride in your achievements.

Your grandmother probably told you to be a little mysterious when it comes to men. Focus on him – ask him about himself, his hopes and dreams. Avoid talking about "relationships" – it's a turn-off. Listen, really listen, to what he has to say without revealing too much about yourself. And listening and showing interest in your new man are skills that can be developed if you met in the chat sites before your first date.

We won’t pretend that first impressions don’t count, so on the superficial side, don’t go overboard with make-up. Use what you need to use in order to feel good, but men, we hear over and over again, prefer the natural look. Too much make-up may make him wonder what you're hiding under all the goop. As for clothes, smart casual works best. If you get too dressed up, you may find yourself feeling self-conscious – especially if he's dressed down. And feeling self-conscious is the enemy of sex appeal.

So once you've got the hair, make-up and clothes right – and you're doing this only to feel as confident as you can – understand that to love yourself for who you are – imperfections and all – is what will boost your sex appeal. Yes, it really IS that simple.

As Gloria Heidi, author of Winning The Age Game. "A man is fascinated and challenged by a woman who is an exciting person in her own right, whose personality has adequate depth to provide that all important ingredient for any flourishing relationship between men and women - the masculine motive for significant conquest," says the author. "The woman who banks on the appeal of physical subjection alone discovers that this appeal is really short-lived."