Now that I’ve been showing some success with women – trust me, it wasn’t always like this – a lot of friends have been asking me what my secret is to the really terrifying experience of asking a girl out. I thought I’d share that information with you by telling you what NOT to do when asking a girl out.
If you’ve spent time in the world of dating,
you know how hard it is to come up with good conversation topics while talking to girls. No doubt you’ve felt the frustration of running out of conversation topics, been part of those highly awkward silences, and wracked your brain struggling to find ways to keep the conversation going.
When faced with this difficulty, most men resort to diving right into “interrogation mode”. This is when guys just start spouting off a series of rapid-fire fact-based questions to the girls in the hopes of keeping the conversation going, not really worried about what the conversation is about. Understandably, quick questions like this result in quick answers, leaving the men right back in the same place they were. Instead of going down this route, here are a handful of good conversation topics to use while talking to girls.
1. Don’t be afraid to gossip
There’s a reason people tune in to “Jerry Springer” even after all of these years: They’re intrigued by the weird drama of people’s lives. As such, sharing gossip (or “drama”) about your own life or the lives of your friends is a great way to keep the conversation from getting boring. Anything with sex, relationships, strange twists, dates gone wrong are all worthy topics of conversation.
One of my favorite gossip/drama accounts is from the life of a friend of mine. He used to have daily conversations on the Internet with the girl for over a year, but whenever he would bring up meeting face-to-face for the first time she would balk at the suggestion. Later, he found out she was just a housewife who living across the country and was just bored during the day. Whenever I tell this story to a woman, it opens up a great conversation.
2. Strange experiences
In the same way, talking about the “weirdness” in your own life can move conversations from good to great. Has something intriguing or strange ever happen to you? For instance, sometimes I’ll tell the story about my grandma who says she was visited by a dead relative. It’s such a strange experience, full with so many emotions and facts, that the woman can find a large assortment of questions to continue the conversation. From there, she will offer her own bout of strange experiences, which will further propel the conversation.
3. Ambitions and passions
This is probably the best topic of conversation you can have going for you. By talking about your future ambitions and the passions you have, not only can you continue moving the conversation forward because of the amount of knowledge you have on the topic, but you also will be unable to keep from sounding excited while talking. Showing this emotion is always a positive when talking to a girl, because they’re used to too many guys trying to hide their emotions and this will be a welcome relief. In the same way, when you begin talking about her passions and ambitions, she will feel more at home because it will automatically be a conversation topic that she’s interested in.
4. Observations
There are two types of observations you should focus the conversation topic on: Observations about her, and observations about where you two are at. For observations about her, feel free to spout off any assumptions you’ve made about her just by looking at her (keeping in mind not to make the assumptions offensive, since that isn’t going to win you any favor). This will give her a chance to either confirm your observation (making you seem capable at reading people) or try to debate your observation (which will not doubt make her defensive and, thusly, passionate while talking). In either case, she will be talking about herself which will keep her more interested in the conversation.
As far as the conversation topic of observing what’s around you: By doing this, you are establishing a bond over one of the few things you currently have in common. Namely, the place you’re at. By observing either the place or the other people surrounding you – I enjoy making up stories about the people around me with the girl I’m talking with – you can improvise jokes and stories, putting you both in a mood of creativity and collaboration … something that will hopefully lead to some more of that in the bedroom later on.
5. Talk about travel
Just about everyone is a fan of talking about travel, but the key in this case is to let her do the talking. Instead of bragging about the places you’ve been or telling your stories off the bat, use this as a way to dig into her interest, world views, and passions … all topics that you can bring to the conversation later on in the night.
6. Pop culture
More of a placeholder until the next part of the conversation starts, if you find that there is a lull to the conversation, to avoid an awkward silence feel free to start mentioning various things about current events or pop culture. This is a much better method of keeping the silence from being too overwhelming without delving into the rapid-fire interrogation style that’s a big no-no. From here, various topics of conversation will make themselves known and you can branch off from there.
7. Lessons learned
This is less of a conversation topic and more of a cherry on top of other conversations to turn them from good to great. Instead of simply telling a story from your past, or talking about someone’s drama, or even talking about pop culture nonsense, always keep in mind to discuss the lessons that you’ve learned. This will not only show your own depth of thought – something every woman is looking for – but also lead to a wide variety of conversational topics. Instead of just telling the girl about the time you got in a fight in high school, talk about what you learned from that event itself. This will open up the opportunity for her to speak about what lessons she has learned throughout her life.
