How To Cope With Break Up – Why Can't I Forget About My Ex?

Relationships are the things in life that can make us happier or more miserable than we have ever been before.

Have you noticed, that when you are in a good relationship, you can cope with just about anything else that is thrown your way?  As long as you know you are loved and cared about by that special person in your life, you can pretty much take on the world.

When you have someone who is always there for you, always on your side and always in your corner, it makes you feel so special.  So it's no surprise that when a relationship breaks down we think constantly about the good times we had, how the other person made us feel, how loved and accepted we felt and basically how everything was right in our world.

When we break up with partners everything seems that much harder to cope with.  We lose confidence and start doubting ourselves over little things – after all, if we aren't good enough to be loved by our ex why should we be good enough for anything else?

Of course this isn't true – but it's how we feel when we find ourselves alone, with no-one to share secrets with, or to make us feel better at the end of a bad day or to make us feel  good about ourselves because we know they are looking forward to seeing us.

So even if the relationship wasn't perfect, we tend to remember the good things and the nice times and forget about the arguments and disagreements, the frustrations and squabbles.

So the first thing you need to do when it comes to forgetting about your ex, is to work out what the reality of your relationship was?  Do you feel bad now because you are on your own and your pride is hurt, or are you genuinely missing your ex as a person?

It is easy to confuse feelings of rejection and loneliness for misplaced love and need.

Was the relationship really that great and did you get what you needed out of it.  Were you happy the majority of the time or did you actually spend most of your time complaining to your friends about what your ex did or didn't do?

It could be that it was you that broke off the relationship and you are now having doubts about whether you did the right thing or not.  Either way, you still need to figure out whether the relationship is worth saving or resurrecting.

Until you have figured this out and are sure about your motives, you are unlikely to be able to forget your ex and truly move on.

So think long and hard about what you really want and if you decide that in the long run you will be better off without your ex in your life, then at least you have a starting point from which to build your recovery.  Knowing that you will feel awful for a while, but that you will start to feel better soon will make moving on that bit easier.