Sometimes there are forces outside of your control that can ruin your online dating experience. However in many instances, the sabotage comes from within.
"You like me. You really like me." Those are the immortal words of Sally Fields after being awarded the Oscar for Best Actress in the movie Norma Rae. No doubt many a comedian has had fun with that emotional moment. But it spoke to a basic truth. There is something inside each and every one of us that desires acceptance. It can take many forms such as joining an exclusive club or being recognized by our peers for all the work we do.
Relationships are probably the epitome of acceptance. You are opening yourself up physically, spiritually and emotionally to someone you like in the hopes that they check you out and reciprocate those feelings. It's a process that scares a lot of people. Why? Because nobody likes rejection. It's tough enough presenting your inner thoughts and feelings for someone's approval. When they say thanks but no thanks, it hurts.
In that regard online dating is no different. You meet a person and both of you seem to be hitting it off very well. The conversations get better and better until one day you decide to share a little more of yourself. Unfortunately the other person decides at this moment to end the budding relationship. Maybe it was too much information for them to handle, they met someone new online or they were not ready to give more of themselves. The reason does not quite matter all you know is that you have been rejected.
Yes it is painful but the mistake that some people make is to start lying when someone new comes across their radar. It's not that they are doing it to be out and out devious (although those people do exist). They just don't want any part of that rejection anchor so they begin to fudge things a bit.
The accomplishments become a little more spectacular, their weight and appearance starts to take on the quality of a fashion magazine. What about their age? Add or subtract a few years depending on what direction they want to go.
You can justify it anyway you want but it still comes down to lying and beginning a relationship with a series of untruths no matter how trivial you perceive them to be is the equivalent of building a house on the shakiest ground imaginable.
For one thing when the moment of truth comes, as in that first in the flesh meeting, picture the other person's face when they realize you are not what you pretended to be. If you fear rejection, than you better hang tight because you just handed that person the best reason to say no to you.
Another thing to consider is if the situation was reversed. They got your hopes up by telling you a, b and c about themselves. Turns out it was really q, r and s. Nothing wrong with that but it's not what you signed on for.
No matter what your experience has or hasn't been when it comes to online dating, stay true to yourself. You can write a fun exciting profile and have a terrific time chatting without exaggerating your worth. There's only one you which means what you bring to the table is unlike anything else the other person brings. Enjoy it and trust yourself to believe that is more than enough.
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