Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

Jealous scenario: The two of you are seated in a restaurant. She is looking like her usual sexy self and you marvel at the fact that you're with the hottest woman in the room. Everything is going great until a model wannabe makes his way through the crowd and stops at your table. Your lady looks up and is smitten to see her former flame. As she introduces you to the gentleman, you try to maintain a smile while shaking hands.

They continue to exchange friendly words and you sit idly by while your blood boils to levels that may or may not result in his body being flung over to the dessert cart. Sound familiar? This scenario is one of millions that depicts jealousy; a human emotion we instinctively experience at some point or another.

Just like with aggression and paranoia, jealousy can take on varying degrees of severity. For some, jealousy is a real issue and if left untreated, can create a permanent wedge between you and your partner, while negatively affecting future relationships.

So what is jealousy? Taken literally, jealousy refers to a strong desire for someone else's stature or possessions. But in a social setting, it causes someone to be doubtful of their partner and feel threatened by their interaction with certain people, the clothes they wear, or the places they go.

DEGREES OF JEALOUSY:

CUTE JEALOUSY

Jealousy does not necessarily merit its negative connotation, after all, it's normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). Having reservations about her going to a strip bar with friends or not enjoying the sight of her drooling over some guy in a magazine are innocent examples of how some jealousy can be harmless, and a perfectly normal reaction.

HEALTHY JEALOUSY

Likewise, a man who voices his concern over having his girlfriend go out with a bunch of guys or seeing another man flirting with her is also part of a healthy relationship. Often, a man is just looking out for his girlfriend's well-being and women usually respect that. They may even be insulted if you don't say anything.

OBSESSIVE JEALOUSY

The problem arises when aggression and/or violence accompanies the jealousy. You begin questioning her loyalty to you, and that sends you into a rage, maybe even using physical force. You demand to know where she is at all times and the mere mention of another guy's name sends you off the deep end. Do you really want to be a part of this scenario? Definitely not. So, the next time, pause, think and then react.