The Rules of Attraction

The Science Behind Attraction

Key Chemicals

Anthropologist Diane Bishop suggests that attraction is influenced by four key chemicals:

• Sex Hormones: Testosterone and estrogen.
• Neurotransmitters: Dopamine and serotonin.

These chemicals shape our personalities and influence who we find attractive.

Personality Types

Bishop identifies four personality types based on these chemicals:

1. The Builder:

   • High serotonin levels.
   • Conservative, reliable, and a natural leader.
   • Prefers the calm of suburban life.

2. The Director:

   • Dominated by testosterone.
   • Assertive, decisive, and sometimes volatile.
   • Attracted to those who complement their decisiveness.

3. The Negotiator:

   • Influenced by estrogen.
   • Empathetic, nurturing, and open-minded.
   • Drawn to decisive partners.

4. The Explorer:

   • Driven by dopamine.
   • Adventurous, creative, and loves novelty.
   • Thrives in the excitement of city life.

Research Insights

Bishop's research, supported by data from a U.S. online dating site, challenges the notion that opposites attract. Her findings suggest:

• Similar Personalities Attract: 50% of singles reported being drawn to those with similar traits.
• Complementary Opposites: Directors and negotiators often find balance in each other, with one providing decisiveness and the other empathy.

Societal and Genetic Influences

While chemistry plays a significant role, societal and genetic factors also impact attraction. The idea that "opposites attract" is an oversimplification. Instead, a blend of similar and complementary traits often leads to successful relationships.

Practical Application

When meeting someone new, consider which personality type they might be. This can lead to engaging conversations and a deeper understanding of potential compatibility.

Interesting Stats

• Online Dating Trends: According to a study by Statista, 30% of U.S. adults have used online dating, highlighting the growing reliance on digital platforms to find partners.
• Personality Compatibility: A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that personality similarity is a strong predictor of relationship satisfaction.

Conclusion

Understanding the science of attraction can enhance your dating experience. Whether you're a builder, director, negotiator, or explorer, knowing your type and recognizing it in others can help you navigate the complex world of relationships. For more insights, check out Psychology Today for a deeper dive into the psychology of attraction.