The Comedy of Unwanted Emails

The Joy of Emails

I have a deep affection for emails. They provide a wonderful way to connect with friends, welcome new subscribers, and even receive payments for my work. Paypal, in particular, is a favorite source of emails, as it often signifies financial rewards for my efforts.

The Overwhelming Volume of Emails

However, there are times when the influx of emails becomes overwhelming. I subscribe to around 12-15 ezines, which may not seem like a lot, but these are all publications that I regularly read. Additionally, there are a couple of persistent ezines that refuse to unsubscribe me despite my repeated attempts.

I am also part of a publisher's discussion list, about eight article announcement lists, and approximately 15 other company mailing lists. On top of that, I regularly correspond with other publishers, answer queries about my services, respond to reader feedback, process free ads from new subscribers, and even receive occasional letters from my parents.

The Humor in Spam Emails

In addition to these regular emails, I also receive a fair share of what many people refer to as 'spam' emails. However, I prefer to think of them as 'jokes'.

On an average day, I receive around 60 emails, with about 45-50 of them being legitimate correspondences that I need to attend to. So, for those who send me these 'joke' emails, I have a question for you. Do you really believe that after dealing with all my other emails, I would even consider opening an email from an unknown sender with a subject line like "Help! I'm Making Too Much Money!" or "Your $10,000 Commission is Here!"?

The Absurdity of Spam Emails

I don't usually fuss about receiving unsolicited emails. However, I do take issue with blatant stupidity. For instance, I recently received an email titled "For Women Only". If it's meant for women only, why was it sent to me?

Then there was the email asking, "Are You Lonely Tonight?" As a married man with four children, I found this rather amusing.

I also get a kick out of emails claiming, "You've Just Earned a Commission!" from unknown senders. Or the ones supposedly from some 'official' in an Asian country needing help to transfer his $476 million 'escape' funds, promising me a 40% cut if I provide my bank account information.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, if you must send emails about your opportunities, make them relevant to the recipient. I'm a busy man and I receive a lot of pertinent emails as it is. Non-targeted advertising is a complete waste of time and resources.

As a 31-year-old American male who enjoys the outdoors and the internet, has a wife and four kids, emails about erectile dysfunction, British opera, gay rights parades, or sushi houses are not going to elicit a response from me. I believe that's a fair expectation, don't you?